So, dilemma:
I'm discovering that as my career grows, and I'm now in the Mon-Fri 40+ hour workweek grind, that my creativity has been drained.
Part of it is out of mental exhaustion at the end of the day- my brain is just shot, I can't come up with anything.
And the other part of it is that as my career grows, and I'm finally starting to feel like I'm getting somewhere adult-like, I don't have as much of an urge to create in order to prove myself. Does that make sense? Before, my writing was not just something to let out my creativity, but it was a strive towards purpose and productivity. Like, see? I'm not just a stripper, I'm a writer. Ahh, the good ole days. Sorta.
But maybe it's just an adjustment. It will all sort itself out. And not having a day off in the middle of the week is a bit rough- whatever you gotta get done you can hopefully get done on Saturday. Like, getting snow tires put on. This week had some hairy nights of driving home, let me tell you.
Ok, well I have a gross bathroom to get cleaned. Started a bleach soak, and consequently ruined my leggins. Fuck.
I hope everyone has an awesome weekend!!
K
Showing posts with label blessed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blessed. Show all posts
November 22, 2014
July 06, 2013
Anouk: Modern World
Beautiful Day. At the end of a transitional, fairly successful week.
I've been hired at a local retail joint, and I'm still amazed at how much easier the job hunt was/is without the club hanging over my head. I can't describe how uncomfortable it was, pretending not to be a dancer looking for a job. It's akin to going back to school after you get your first period. It feels like everyone knows, and its mega-paranoia time.
Is this how every ex-dancer feels, once they've taken the plunge and gotten out of the lifestyle? Like I've shed a dirty old ragged skin that no longer fit. I feel cleaner, refreshed, and I've gotten a good dose of my confidence and self-esteem back that had been overshadowed by The Pole.
Fuck that Pole.
The lover and I tried out Bagelicious II for breakfast today. Cute little place, good coffee. The bagels? ...Eh.
We traveled out to his father's camp later, and I met his other brother, his wife, and their adorable daughter. Such fat cheeks!!
The lake is quite high, no surprise there. It was beautiful out today, and I wish I could stand the heat better.
The month of June flew by, and it was a stressful, busy month. Good riddance! I only feel a little panicky about losing a whole month of summer where I didn't pack in enough summer activities. However, I got a B in that awful Spanish class, so June can fuck itself.
;)
K
I've been hired at a local retail joint, and I'm still amazed at how much easier the job hunt was/is without the club hanging over my head. I can't describe how uncomfortable it was, pretending not to be a dancer looking for a job. It's akin to going back to school after you get your first period. It feels like everyone knows, and its mega-paranoia time.
Is this how every ex-dancer feels, once they've taken the plunge and gotten out of the lifestyle? Like I've shed a dirty old ragged skin that no longer fit. I feel cleaner, refreshed, and I've gotten a good dose of my confidence and self-esteem back that had been overshadowed by The Pole.
Fuck that Pole.
The lover and I tried out Bagelicious II for breakfast today. Cute little place, good coffee. The bagels? ...Eh.
We traveled out to his father's camp later, and I met his other brother, his wife, and their adorable daughter. Such fat cheeks!!
The lake is quite high, no surprise there. It was beautiful out today, and I wish I could stand the heat better.
The month of June flew by, and it was a stressful, busy month. Good riddance! I only feel a little panicky about losing a whole month of summer where I didn't pack in enough summer activities. However, I got a B in that awful Spanish class, so June can fuck itself.
;)
K
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