My father recently said to my husband: "Hold onto her as long as you can- she's a wild one."
At first it just seemed like an off-hand humorous remark to him, but now that I stop and think of what my life so far must look like to my father, (the parts that he's aware of, at least) I'm sure he wholeheartedly meant it. Working on farms and thoroughly loving playing in cowshit throughout high school, marrying the wrong guy at 18, dancing for strange men at 19, divorced at 27, getting married again at 29.
I feel like I'm going to turn into the crabby old woman who just doesn't give a shit about what anyone thinks- I'm going to throw caution and self-preservation to the wind and just let the world have me. I'm going to wear wild outfits that darken to blacks as I age, and you'll see me in the park at dusk, feeding the pigeons. And once senility takes hold, I'm sure the clothes will start coming back off and I'll constantly be cited for indecency by the local law enforcement.
K
Showing posts with label naked. Show all posts
Showing posts with label naked. Show all posts
March 27, 2016
May 10, 2015
LIttle Nook of Crooked
This coming week I have a very busy, crazy schedule. I am about to embark on a serious career undertaking, my biggest break since quitting dancing. In less than two years, I have made more progress than I thought possible, and have clawed my way up from ground zero.
I was doing some Facebook stalking tonight, and looking up some people from my past, and reflecting on those crazy days.
Do I sometimes wish I was still living the easy life, shaking titties for dollar bills? No. But there were a few perks, like free backrubs....ahh, how I miss those! And sitting on my ass for most of the day, not making shit, then bam! Mr. Lonely With a Cash Advance walks through the door, and there you go! $500+ in just a matter of an hour's worth of bullshit.
I seldom get a chance to 'wile out', if you will. You have no idea how often I'm at work, and just want to shout out some crazy gibberish and dance around like a fool. Or make totally inappropriate comments about the size of a coworkers tits or the bulge in the technician's pants. But these days, its all about being professional and grown up, which is fine and great.....99.6% of the time. Kelly Raine is being chiseled down day by day. But she will persevere! Even if it's just a tiny little island that she occupies....I need her. Still. She is my escape. She is my bitch of all that is crazy, inappropriate, sexy, immature.
Ok, I just needed to vent a bit. Tomorrow is Monday, and I will conquer all. Not a large clue of what I'm doing, but hey, I'll figure it out in time. My little bit of dark and demonic history I will hold close to me, and it will be my secret of comfort when shit hits the fan. I've gotten naked in front of hundreds of people.....what the fuck do I have to be nervous about?
K.Raine
I was doing some Facebook stalking tonight, and looking up some people from my past, and reflecting on those crazy days.
Do I sometimes wish I was still living the easy life, shaking titties for dollar bills? No. But there were a few perks, like free backrubs....ahh, how I miss those! And sitting on my ass for most of the day, not making shit, then bam! Mr. Lonely With a Cash Advance walks through the door, and there you go! $500+ in just a matter of an hour's worth of bullshit.
I seldom get a chance to 'wile out', if you will. You have no idea how often I'm at work, and just want to shout out some crazy gibberish and dance around like a fool. Or make totally inappropriate comments about the size of a coworkers tits or the bulge in the technician's pants. But these days, its all about being professional and grown up, which is fine and great.....99.6% of the time. Kelly Raine is being chiseled down day by day. But she will persevere! Even if it's just a tiny little island that she occupies....I need her. Still. She is my escape. She is my bitch of all that is crazy, inappropriate, sexy, immature.
Ok, I just needed to vent a bit. Tomorrow is Monday, and I will conquer all. Not a large clue of what I'm doing, but hey, I'll figure it out in time. My little bit of dark and demonic history I will hold close to me, and it will be my secret of comfort when shit hits the fan. I've gotten naked in front of hundreds of people.....what the fuck do I have to be nervous about?
K.Raine
January 04, 2014
Saturday ADD
I need to get some serious work done on my WIPs today, but I feel like I'm incapable of concentrating. I have yet to find my writing perfect storm, but I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that my muse likes to hide out in several different storylines.
I recently picked up a fantasy work I had started fleshing out several months ago; it involves the legendary Baba Yaga, and her Russian folklore counterparts. I'm surprised at how many people don't know who she is, and I think I do only because she was in one of my childhood storybooks.
I decided that it's better if I have something "lighthearted" (um, cuz someone who eats children makes for lighthearted fiction...?) to counterbalance all the depressing and dysfunctional shit that's happening in my other WIP. I also reminded myself that there was a lot of fun, crazy shit that happened in my dancing days, and that the less than desirable qualities weren't always so up front.
Speaking of the land of naked women, a former coworker was texting me yesterday, inquiring as to how I was doing. Then she proceeds to fill me in on how she walked out on a Saturday night bartending shift b/c there was too much drug activity going on and she couldn't take it anymore. Girl, you've been dancing for over twenty years (yes, 20), yes there are many drugs that go through the place, any and all of the clubs. It's part of that subculture, and it's always going to be around. That shit irritates me- why bitch about something that you've chosen to continue to be around? You know that it's never going to change, just like the mismanagement is never going to stop. Stop trying to be a clean-up crusader.
Ok, I think I've emptied my buzzy brain enough to maybe move to the writing. Thanks for listening!
K
I recently picked up a fantasy work I had started fleshing out several months ago; it involves the legendary Baba Yaga, and her Russian folklore counterparts. I'm surprised at how many people don't know who she is, and I think I do only because she was in one of my childhood storybooks.
I decided that it's better if I have something "lighthearted" (um, cuz someone who eats children makes for lighthearted fiction...?) to counterbalance all the depressing and dysfunctional shit that's happening in my other WIP. I also reminded myself that there was a lot of fun, crazy shit that happened in my dancing days, and that the less than desirable qualities weren't always so up front.
Speaking of the land of naked women, a former coworker was texting me yesterday, inquiring as to how I was doing. Then she proceeds to fill me in on how she walked out on a Saturday night bartending shift b/c there was too much drug activity going on and she couldn't take it anymore. Girl, you've been dancing for over twenty years (yes, 20), yes there are many drugs that go through the place, any and all of the clubs. It's part of that subculture, and it's always going to be around. That shit irritates me- why bitch about something that you've chosen to continue to be around? You know that it's never going to change, just like the mismanagement is never going to stop. Stop trying to be a clean-up crusader.
Ok, I think I've emptied my buzzy brain enough to maybe move to the writing. Thanks for listening!
K
November 20, 2013
Keep Her or Kill Her?
Playlist: Korn, "Never Never"
I'm having one of those moments when I really wish I had my own personal stage and pole, with a banging ass sound system and soundproofing. I would blast the fuck out of this song and get a great workout. Would I do it naked? I'm not sure, I mean you can't stick to the pole with clothes on, so....I would choreograph the shit out of the songs too, it would be awesome. Someday.
I've been having an internal debate about the future of Kelly Raine. I sort of want to drop her ass, and just bury all my naked misdemeanors. She doesn't fit me anymore, and I don't want to be haunted by her stupid demons anymore. However, I am still participating in NaNoWriMo, and this novel would be published under that ...er, alias.
For a little background on her, I first penned that personality back in about 2003 (eek!) when I started writing erotic poetry. My erotic poetry was pretty damn spicy, too, and the collection was published in 2005. Each poem was written while I was ovulating and the rush of hormones translated into words well. There were a few poems written every month, har har.
I guess this blog is safe as long as November is here. I'll check back in soon.
K
I'm having one of those moments when I really wish I had my own personal stage and pole, with a banging ass sound system and soundproofing. I would blast the fuck out of this song and get a great workout. Would I do it naked? I'm not sure, I mean you can't stick to the pole with clothes on, so....I would choreograph the shit out of the songs too, it would be awesome. Someday.
I've been having an internal debate about the future of Kelly Raine. I sort of want to drop her ass, and just bury all my naked misdemeanors. She doesn't fit me anymore, and I don't want to be haunted by her stupid demons anymore. However, I am still participating in NaNoWriMo, and this novel would be published under that ...er, alias.
For a little background on her, I first penned that personality back in about 2003 (eek!) when I started writing erotic poetry. My erotic poetry was pretty damn spicy, too, and the collection was published in 2005. Each poem was written while I was ovulating and the rush of hormones translated into words well. There were a few poems written every month, har har.
I guess this blog is safe as long as November is here. I'll check back in soon.
K
September 09, 2013
Reflections of a 27-year-old
Good morning, fuckers.
Mondays are always a bit morose after a great weekend, the lover goes off to work, and there's a void in the apartment :(
Saturday we met with our new landlords, we will be moving sometime in October, to a cute little house in Marcellus. It's such a cute little house- loft-style bedroom, side porch, lots of land, an apple tree in the backyard. Marcellus has an awesome, renovated library and I'm all about it. (Yes, that's how I judge a place, by the town library.)
Ugh, moving. Your twenties are all about it, right? Good god. This will be my 8th place since leaving my mother's nest. One must count the fact that I didn't do the traditional college dorm living thing and I had my first apartment in Port Byron at 18 with the ex. That time seems so long ago, wow. I was driving my ass to the J-E high school every morning and I couldn't tell any of the authorities I was living out there, lol. My poor mother, I was such a good teenage until he showed up in my life. It's funny how you approach your later twenties and you understand how you can't tell anyone in love, especially teenagers, the harsh reality of their relationship. There's that one line in that I-can't-find-the-title Black Keys song, "Everyone knows that a broken heart is blind". Yeah well, a heart in love is just as blind most of the time. If you pay attention and reflect on your past mistakes, you can get better, faster, at realizing the harsh reality of your relationship, even if you're in love. Does it get easier? A tiny bit, but it's more like you just get better at closing your emotions off and keeping it together until you can afford to howl up at the moon.
I have gotten a lot accomplished this year so far- finished my divorce, quit the pole (and the beautiful stilettos :( ), got a "real" job, and graduated. And I want to make the remaining 3 1/2 months as productive. I've got to find full-time work closer to home, or my jewelry business & blogging has to take off. So I'm pursuing the first AND the second. I would definitely prefer the second option over the first. I'll admit, sometimes the first seems like a dream- yeah right, bitch- you do not belong in the real business world. I would love to be one of those sexy office women with my hair up, glasses, in a black skirt and white button-up....*meow*.....but it seems so alien and unattainable to me at the same time. We'll see.
Bottom line: I want to make much more money than I'm making now :D
Closing up, let me just say this: I will always, ALWAYS love seven-inch stilettos, or a.k.a. "stripper heels". Those seven inches of heel with the platform do such wonders to a girl's...everything. The legs, the booty, midsection, titties....BAM! And the power and sexiness they invoke when you strap them on (provided you're on a non-slip surface, har har) is miraculous!
K
Mondays are always a bit morose after a great weekend, the lover goes off to work, and there's a void in the apartment :(
Saturday we met with our new landlords, we will be moving sometime in October, to a cute little house in Marcellus. It's such a cute little house- loft-style bedroom, side porch, lots of land, an apple tree in the backyard. Marcellus has an awesome, renovated library and I'm all about it. (Yes, that's how I judge a place, by the town library.)
Ugh, moving. Your twenties are all about it, right? Good god. This will be my 8th place since leaving my mother's nest. One must count the fact that I didn't do the traditional college dorm living thing and I had my first apartment in Port Byron at 18 with the ex. That time seems so long ago, wow. I was driving my ass to the J-E high school every morning and I couldn't tell any of the authorities I was living out there, lol. My poor mother, I was such a good teenage until he showed up in my life. It's funny how you approach your later twenties and you understand how you can't tell anyone in love, especially teenagers, the harsh reality of their relationship. There's that one line in that I-can't-find-the-title Black Keys song, "Everyone knows that a broken heart is blind". Yeah well, a heart in love is just as blind most of the time. If you pay attention and reflect on your past mistakes, you can get better, faster, at realizing the harsh reality of your relationship, even if you're in love. Does it get easier? A tiny bit, but it's more like you just get better at closing your emotions off and keeping it together until you can afford to howl up at the moon.
I have gotten a lot accomplished this year so far- finished my divorce, quit the pole (and the beautiful stilettos :( ), got a "real" job, and graduated. And I want to make the remaining 3 1/2 months as productive. I've got to find full-time work closer to home, or my jewelry business & blogging has to take off. So I'm pursuing the first AND the second. I would definitely prefer the second option over the first. I'll admit, sometimes the first seems like a dream- yeah right, bitch- you do not belong in the real business world. I would love to be one of those sexy office women with my hair up, glasses, in a black skirt and white button-up....*meow*.....but it seems so alien and unattainable to me at the same time. We'll see.
Bottom line: I want to make much more money than I'm making now :D
Closing up, let me just say this: I will always, ALWAYS love seven-inch stilettos, or a.k.a. "stripper heels". Those seven inches of heel with the platform do such wonders to a girl's...everything. The legs, the booty, midsection, titties....BAM! And the power and sexiness they invoke when you strap them on (provided you're on a non-slip surface, har har) is miraculous!
K
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