In kinda a funk today. Part of it is being the new person at work, even though there's many of us new associates. I haven't heard back from the better-paying job, which is disappointing, but oh well. My retail career goes on.
I think I'm just mentally exhausted. I've made great strides in eliminating unnecessary anxiety that I used to carry around, simply because I couldn't afford to let it have me lose out on opportunities this year. And I'm very proud of myself, for how much I've kicked my own ass into gear, but I'm tired. The lazy bitch inside of me wants to go back to dancing, and having money handed to me for doing nothing but looking pretty. Oh, and being naked. Ahh, the good ole pre-recession days of stripping. Forever put to rest.
I remind myself that I've always loved this place where I work now, and I'm proud of myself for making a mini-dream come true. However, it's a bit akin to torture- there are so many clothes, handbags, and heels all around that I fucking want. I talk to them while I organize, tag and put them away- I tell them how beautiful they are and when I'm rich I'm going to buy them all. I think they're comforted. Probably more than I am.
K
Showing posts with label skull. Show all posts
Showing posts with label skull. Show all posts
October 08, 2013
June 24, 2013
Split Life
I took Monday and Tuesday of this week to work on the freelance side of
things. I sent out a bunch of writing applications Thurs-Sat, and got a
couple of promising responses by Sunday night. I filled out one more
today, now just waiting to hear back.
I’ve got some catching up to do with school, my head has not been in the game. Sooo very close to the end, and I’m mentally vacated. I’ve left some brains around in my skull to finish the job, just a matter of taking a deep breath, and getting through it. It’s going to feel so good to cross that item off my Things to Finish list! ”
The desperation to get out of dancing, and leave that whole crazy, dysfunctional lifestyle and everyone involved behind burns like a fire at my back. It’s a good heat though, keeps me motivated.
I love the thought of getting paid by the words that I put down on paper (Even if I might not get the byline) but at the same time, I long for a regular paycheck. What that must be like, to plan out how much you are going to make in a month because you know.
I was happy to see via Syracuse.com that the “building with the house on the roof” the one on the corner of Hiawatha and N. Salina (the newspaper had different streets, but I think mine fit) is going to get renovated. A former trucking company owner, Yiorgos Kyriakopoulos bought it for $200,00 and plans on making commercial space on the bottom, and apartments on the top floors. He might turn the “House” (which is really just a cover for the mechanical parts of the freight elevator that runs through the building) into his office.
This is a pretty awesome happening in our city that needs as much help as it can get. I wish more of the abandoned factories that are sprinkled throughout the city would have more investors and innovators.
I’ve got some catching up to do with school, my head has not been in the game. Sooo very close to the end, and I’m mentally vacated. I’ve left some brains around in my skull to finish the job, just a matter of taking a deep breath, and getting through it. It’s going to feel so good to cross that item off my Things to Finish list! ”
The desperation to get out of dancing, and leave that whole crazy, dysfunctional lifestyle and everyone involved behind burns like a fire at my back. It’s a good heat though, keeps me motivated.
I love the thought of getting paid by the words that I put down on paper (Even if I might not get the byline) but at the same time, I long for a regular paycheck. What that must be like, to plan out how much you are going to make in a month because you know.
I was happy to see via Syracuse.com that the “building with the house on the roof” the one on the corner of Hiawatha and N. Salina (the newspaper had different streets, but I think mine fit) is going to get renovated. A former trucking company owner, Yiorgos Kyriakopoulos bought it for $200,00 and plans on making commercial space on the bottom, and apartments on the top floors. He might turn the “House” (which is really just a cover for the mechanical parts of the freight elevator that runs through the building) into his office.
This is a pretty awesome happening in our city that needs as much help as it can get. I wish more of the abandoned factories that are sprinkled throughout the city would have more investors and innovators.
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