Morning Demons

Good morning, readers.
Today I managed to wake up early, enough to get a tad bit of writing done. I love the early morning- I love the quiet, the half-light, the calm before the day begins. However, my love of sleep often outweighs my love of writing.
I'm trying to change that.
I would love to be the type that bounces out of bed the minute the alarm goes off, but alas, it's a daily struggle. Occasionally, when I'm in a super good writing spot, my eagerness to keep the story going will help me not hit the snooze button...again,and again.....but for the most part, my brain tells me to F*** off.
I'm trying to figure out my sleep rhythm, and I suspect that I need to set my alarm even earlier- it seems like any later than 5 a.m., and it's near impossible for me to get out of bed. However, I'm going to have to get my mind used to seeing a '4' and not automatically thinking, No way man. 
 The other side of that quarter is going to bed early enough. This time of year, when it's light until past nine, going to bed at a reasonable hour is a whole 'nuther difficult factor in this.

 I'm really just stalling with this blog post. It's easier to bitch about my sleep schedule than work on Chapter 11. I finished Chapter 10 last night and Chapter 11 requires a good portion of backstory and description. Backstory is easier than description, for me.
 (Besides waking early, description is definitely my biggest writing challenge. I'm much more eager to write action scenes, than to describe what my characters are seeing.)

KR

Impatient Part II

In kinda a funk today. Part of it is being the new person at work, even though there's many of us new associates. I haven't heard back from the better-paying job, which is disappointing, but oh well. My retail career goes on.
 I think I'm just mentally exhausted. I've made great strides in eliminating unnecessary anxiety that I used to carry around, simply because I couldn't afford to let it have me lose out on opportunities this year. And I'm very proud of myself, for how much I've kicked my own ass into gear, but I'm tired. The lazy bitch inside of me wants to go back to dancing, and having money handed to me for doing nothing but looking pretty. Oh, and being naked. Ahh, the good ole pre-recession days of stripping. Forever put to rest.
  I remind myself that I've always loved this place where I work now, and I'm proud of myself for making a mini-dream come true. However, it's a bit akin to torture- there are so many clothes, handbags, and heels all around that I fucking want.  I talk to them while I organize, tag and put them away- I tell them how beautiful they are and when I'm rich I'm going to buy them all. I think they're comforted. Probably more than I am. 
K

Fighting Adulthood

Today is one of those days where I spend the whole day telling myself, "Bitch, build a bridge and get over it. Seriously." I wish I had my own private stage and sound system, where I could blast beats and just dance all my angst out.
  I had a shitty day at work yesterday, and I am looking for something better (I knew from the get-go it was only temporary) yet at the same time, the idea of working full-time .....does not appeal to me. There. I said it. Yes, a former stripper that balks at the idea of full-time work, what do you know? What do you people expect when I used to make a month's salary in about a 14-hour time span? You would feel the same way!
It's not the work itself, I'm not a lazy person. However, a full-time schedule takes up so much of your life, ugh. That's what I do not like, having to save up your own fun until the weekend. 
  I have to put my 15-year old cat down this weekend. This issue has been weighing on me for some time now, and it sucks. He's not the first cat I've said goodbye to, and I've only had him since 2008, but he was with me during some very tumultuous and evolutionary times in my life. I hate losing pets, it hurts so much :(((  
  Thank you Blogger, for providing your therapy through writing. And you, dear readers, for being an audience for my bitching. 
 K