Strong

I am entering a second coming, if you will. 
Of late, I've been pondering just how I've transformed over the last year and a half. I'm not sure, but I have an inkling, that all retired dancers have to go through a period of rediscovery after the world of nakedness- entering the real world and the job market. Losing the mass of admiring, drooling men creates a weird gray void that is slowly filled in or erased over time. It's not just them, it's being at the top of something that yes, is nothing to be admired, but still- going from top bitch to...bottom of the barrel.
  I've been realizing just how much my current place of employment has not helped me find myself. Instead it has further dampered my spirit and zest. It's a very cold place, that very rarely gives feedback and encouragement. The employees are just grunt workers- meant to be used and abused. I've lost track of the hard work ethic and enthusiasm I used to have, and I'm in the process of digging that up again. I know I still have it in me, I just have to shake it awake once again and remind myself that yes, I'm a great worker and deserve a better post. It's like I moved from a position that society frowned upon but which I owned, to one that is slightly abusive. I'm only recently realizing this.
I'm in the process of getting that back, finding it once again. Shaping a stronger, more resilient, slightly arrogant version of myself. I need a little arrogance right now. Bull headedness, not accepting no for an answer. Going full steam ahead, a bit reckless, but also intelligent, and calculating. 
  Returning to my current job tomorrow, there will be a little more 'fuck you' inside of me, which has been increasing as of late. I will perform my duties as expected, and I will continue to provide excellent customer service, but taking away the anxiety of hoping to please while never getting positive feedback helps me be stronger. Does that make any sense? 
 K

Morning Coffee :)

Choo Bear

 This is what I come downstairs to in the morning <3 He goes nicely with a fresh cup of coffee :) 
 

I'm going to work for a bit on Elemental Evil, part 5, and decide whether this new character is good or evil. The opinion has been on the side of evil ;) 

 What is everyone working on today? 
Leave me your opinion on the new character in my comments! Dr. Zoo- good or bad? 
K 

Every Cat. Everywhere.

Identity Crisis

Ok, so it's not a crisis, per se, as I don't do crises. But lately- at times- I find myself a little...lost. No doubt due to the fact that a life-change coincided with a "personal growth spurt" in my timeline. I'm curious, does this happen to all ex-dancers? I would bet it does. As much as its a bad idea to let the lifestyle inundate your life, it happens inevitably.
     I've also had more SAD lately than normal for fall. The change of seasons always brings back so many memories, but I am especially sad the good weather is going.
   The offers for interviews are finally coming in- thank god. Now just to get through a slurry of interviews and find a landing place. And get out of there before the Christmas hustle really starts. We're already getting Christmas candy in by the boatload.I don't mind the customer service so much (although yesterday I just wanted to post up in the middle of the store and scream out, "NO I CAN'T FUCKING HELP YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME GET SOMETHING DONE TODAY!!!) I just am quite tired of cleaning up after people.
   I owe you guys another installment of Elemental Evil, I know. Three weeks is about when I lose steam for a project, I wasn't surprised. I'm not giving up on it, don't worry. It's been fun to write. I'm purposely keeping the installments short, as it's easier for me to be more regular with it, and I think the audience does better with shorter pieces. We're all fitting it in on our lunch breaks, right?
  Off to create. 
K 

Ok, so maybe I changed my mind

I managed to get into my Kelly Raine Yahoo account, which had been compromised for like 2 years. Maybe it was looking at all the old emails, including the one where I had queried a publisher down in Florida about sending my paranormal novel to them, but now I feel like I should just keep building my audience on the platform I already developed. I mean, I've had Kelly Raine since.....2001? 2002? 
So...maybe I'll gift you guys with my first three installments of Elemental Evil, my web series. 
Promise you'll read it? 
K

Where's Waldo?

As you might have guessed, I've moved to a different blog where I'm building a professional platform. As I've mentioned before, I'm slowly phasing out Kelly Raine. Time to put that bitch to rest. 
  Yet....I'm not totally putting her down. There's so much history with that persona, and she has a few fans ;) 
 Just an update. 
 K