Weekend Food Love

Here's this weekend's deliciousnessssss.....jealous? Yes, it was all amazing ;)

It's Friday, Bitches!

Hello there.
Posting to you from our amazing bed, in pajamas, w/ a warm purring kitty next to me.
  I had a very productive, busy week & am going to reward myself w/  a nap for a little bit. Mmmm, sleep.
I had two job interviews on Wednesday, both of them went well & I heard back from one yesterday w/ a job offer! So excited- I'm gng to try to pursue my dream of becoming a fashion buyer someday. I would love that, although if something better paying comes along.....hmm, I don't know. We'll see how it goes. There's lots of opportunity to grow w/ this company, and if I could work up to being a buyer for them, that would be ideal. Pretty sure I need a Bachelors degree, which I plan on pursuing next fall. Maybe earlier than that if I think I'm ready to buckle down again, haha.
Ok, I'm gng to pass out for a bit. Then I have a haircut & color appointment & some catch-up w/ my (ex) gf later #girlyday
K

Memory Anxiety

Good morning. I slept in this morning, as I don't work until 4:30. Ah, the good ole part-time, all-over-the-place work schedule. Man, that shit is for the birds. Even as a stripper, I kept a fairly consistent schedule. I do miss being able to call in "just 'cuz".  Honestly I didn't implement that privilege that often, really. It was about a once a month affair, which in irresponsible dancer world is not that much. And the core reason was usually PMS- those days that I would have rather gouged out the customer's eyes than listen to one more minute of his corny, middle-aged-married-man-nearing-midlife-crisis sex fantasies. I'm sorry guys, I know that's an asshole remark but some of you are so typical. And it can freak us dancers out- makes us think, do all marriages end up like this? With the guy bored as hell with the daily routine, and horny as hell 'cuz his wife has turned into a freezer pop over the years of child-rearing, career maintenance, and Xanax popping? Then again, I shouldn't scorn such a large part of the dancer's income, I guess :P
  The title of this post is in reference to this 'issue' I have in the beginning of each week. I guess a psychologist would label it separation anxiety, but I like to think of it as 'memory disquiet disorder'. As you know, I'm in a wonderful relationship and our weekends are pretty banging on all counts. Monday morning comes, he goes off to work, and after a few hours (if I'm not working), I kinda start becoming a nutcase. It's almost like we've broken up, and all the memories of us, and us in our apartment, start haunting me. It's not pretty, I assure you. Not CPEP worthy, but very uncomfortable. Yesterday I left the apartment and went for a long, fast-paced walk, and sometimes that doesn't work because there's memories of that, also. Does that make any sense? It's only Monday, sometimes Tuesday, that this mental fisticuffs occurs, then I'm okay the rest of the week. Does anyone have issues with good memories like this? It's so bizarre to me because I've never had separation anxiety from my mate before. Nope, usually I was waiting for the bastard to leave.
   At work, the uppers have decided that a good way to sell the rest of the orchid supply from the summer was to put three of them at the end of each register, where they are in constant danger of being knocked over.  Last night, two older ladies came through my line, and while I was working on the transaction, one reached out to an orchid and gently held one of the blossoms. She goes to her friend, "I absolutely adore orchids. Do you know why I love this blossom? What does it look like to you?" 
 Her friend immediately responded, "A vagina." 
 "Exactly!" her friend agreed. "That's why I love them!"
 Awesome sauce :D 
KR

Amazing Fall Weekend

I give thanks to whomever every day that I wake up to my life. While I still have a ways to go before I'm at where I want to be, this year has been so amazing.
 This has been an awesome, relaxing & fun weekend. I have had several hours of lying on the couch, catching up on my Netflix queue, and perfecting my manicure. However, I also plan out/finish articles and query editors about new ideas during such activity. So.
  Today the lover & I had a fall-themed day; we went to Abbott's Farm to go apple picking
 
and we're already planning out delicious apple pie making. We also hit up the Jordan Fall Festival. I was surprised that I only recognized one person. The day was nice and chilly for the....chili, and of course we both had one of the famous donuts. My god, I forgot how delicious they are! You have to eat them fresh though- that sorta calorie count does not keep well once it cools.
I'm including the food pics from this weekend- yes, a significant part of our relationship revolves around our joint love of culinary product. I have learned so much since being under his tutelage, so many little secrets to cooking, especially the chemistry of cooking and why foods are put together the way are put together. Bon appetite!

Kelly Raine's Public Service Announcement

Morning, y'all. Thank Fuck it's Friday, and I have all weekend off, YEEHAWWWW!!! So excited! There's family time, apple picking, lovemakin' and delicious meals in store ;) This is going to sound funny coming from this once-upon-a-time farm girl, but I don't believe I've ever been apple picking. I have no recollection of doing such, and that is such a strange thing to me, lol. I remember going blueberry and strawberry picking with my mother, but no apples.
 May I be allowed to rant for a minute? Subject: Personal Responsibility. 
On the news this morning, there was a blurb about the possibility of food-stamp reform and I was reminded of how a family came through my line yesterday, and used one such form of payment. They bought $30 worth of candy. Awesome. Why the fuck is that allowed? I would even understand 1 or 2 candy items- for all I know they have a diabetic person in the family who needs candy around in case of a sudden blood sugar drop. I get that, I have a nephew who's diabetic. Quick sugar is necessary to have around for such a situation. But $30 worth? 
  I get frustrated with the people that don't try. Don't try to elevate their situation in life, better themselves, get educated, DO SOMETHING PROACTIVE. I've left the club and I'm still surrounded by those that are content to just hang out, and continue to make poor decisions and keep the viscous cycle going from whence they came.
  I can't stand that, it drives me crazy. I wish there was a quick solution, I know there's not. I wish I could bitch-slap the fuck out of all the idiots out there. I can't understand why it's not more apparent to people that they should do better than their parents did. I don't care what color your skin is or where you come from, just fucking try. Don't expect me to have any respect for you if you don't. I have no tolerance for those that can't get out of their own way.
Lastly, STOP HAVING BABIES YOU CAN'T AFFORD! Having children before you're financially sound does nothing but lock you into a life of poverty and government assistance. 
Unless that is, you work your fucking ass off. And I know a few women who have overcome shitty circumstances and are doing well for themselves. I have nothing but immense respect for them.
For those that this rant applies to, I challenge you. Let's see what you're made of, sugah. 
KR
 

Impatient

I have an interview tomorrow that I hope lands me the job. It would be a much nicer, and closer place of employment.
 This year has been a big one for growth, which means in part getting used to being uncomfortable. It took me a long time to want to break out of my comfort zone, but I've done it. I have downsized my anxiety to a small little black, miserable box, which I keep inside of a bigger box. 
 And now I'm impatient. Impatient for a better, more progressive workplace, and hopefully better pay. Please God, let there be better pay. This wage sucks, and I miss shopping :( I've been such a hermit this year because of having no money. I mean, the fact that I'd rather be holed up with my lover than be around stupid, annoying people, plays a major role in that hermitage, but the lack of money is the other part. 
 Take a deep breath, you nut case. You've made amazing progress on several fronts this year......WHY COULDN'T I BE PAID FOR ALL MY WORK?? 
Ok, I'll stop complaining. I know it sucks right now, but it won't forever. 
K

TGIF!

I'm so happy its Friday, even though I still have another fairly long day ahead of me (and I have to work tomorrow :P).
 I had an interview yesterday, which went well despite not being what I'm looking for. It was still good interview practice though :P I have another one today for a position that's a bit more interesting. 
 It was kinda funny- there were two former dancers who came by work yesterday; the one has been in the professional world for much longer than I have been, while the other one...hasn't changed much. There's always a moment when two dancers meet up in public, and their brains scramble trying to remember the other girl's real name. Sometimes the dancer name gets blurted out, luckily that did not happen yesterday.
 I also saw the daughter of my 4-H troop leader yesterday, very pregnant with her second kid. She gave me a surprised look- I was the local scandal back in 2005 when the farming community learned I had become a stripper. There's always this dismissive air I get from people that disapprove of my past naked employment. In her case, she comes from a very Christian background, so I'm not even going to touch that. Yes, yes, I know, I'm going to burn in hell. However, I do not envy her at all- she's going to have two babies to take care of. Of course she's married to the farm boy she had been crushing on since being a teenager, and I'm sure she wants to pop out like five more little ones. Fuck that.
Maybe I should stop mentioning how much I don't want kids. It's probably bad juju and my birth control will fail or some shit *knocks on wood*.
TGIF, fuckers!

This Adult Life

Good Morning. 
I have a job interview today that I suspect will be a dud, but will be good interview practice nonetheless, and another one tomorrow. Plus, I have one to call back and schedule an interview for. 
 And I have several writing gigs right now, also. Of course everything comes in at once :P I'm not complaining, just gotta keep my head out of the clouds, both literally and figuratively, har har. 
 I'm not as nervous this round of interviews. I'm at the point where I'm (almost) desperate for better pay and/or full-time work so I'm like, Come on, let's get this over with.
 Ok, I gotta get some stuff done before I turn all professional ;) 
Have a great Thong Thursday! 
K 

II II

Melancholy day. The date plays into it, my heart goes off to everyone who lost someone, my heart goes out to the world and all the people that have to deal with terrorism every day of their lives. It makes me so sad, how much hate the human race is capable of. I wish that people were more cognizant of how their actions would negatively affect future generations, of their own stock. 
 And yes, people are also very capable of great action, and those great ego-feeding brains of ours have also created some great shit over the centuries. 
 K

Family Loyalty

A conversation with my sister last night brought up the subject of family loyalty, and how far it should go if it's being misused.

We are the offspring of divorced, alcoholic parents so you know that we didn't come from a solid, healthy family unit. Our mother did get sober (I was fortunate to be too young to remember her as a drunk) and is a wonderful mother who does everything in her power to help out her children and to be there for them. Our father is still an alcoholic who does work hard, but hits the bottle the minute he's off the clock. Having said that, he would still never mistreat us (if you don't count never being around), nor lie or steal from us.  Being a dancer for 8 years, I would run out of fingers AND toes recounting all the girls I've met who had/have been abused by their parents their whole lives. And I'm talking about the worst kind- like, mothers who got their kids hooked on drugs so they could pimp them out and control them. Mental, emotional, physical domination. Girls who were pushed into dancing because their parents used them as their little cash cows. Parents that lie and steal from them on a regular basis.
  Now, I'm a very loyal person if its a worthy person/cause. But from my perspective, no person should have to take that kind of shit from their parents. There's a limit to familial abuse, and after enough, I believe the kid has every right to tell the parent to go fuck off. Fuck family loyalty at that point. 
  I was raised to believe that the parent/child relationship is one of mutual respect- the child respects the adult, the adult respects the child even while being the parent and making the decisions that are a parent's responsibility. I have zero tolerance for parental abuse and it always mystifies me when I see a case of it and the adult child continues to put up with it. (Key word: 'adult child')
But then again, I am seeing things from my side of the fence. I also understand how if it's the only thing you've ever known, its normal to you and maybe even feels comforting. I get it, but it's so sad. 
  Well, that was my Tuesday morning rant. Thanks for tuning in. 
K

Reflections of a 27-year-old

Good morning, fuckers.

Mondays are always a bit morose after a great weekend, the lover goes off to work, and there's a void in the apartment :(

Saturday we met with our new landlords, we will be moving sometime in October, to a cute little house in Marcellus. It's such a cute little house- loft-style bedroom, side porch, lots of land, an apple tree in the backyard. Marcellus has an awesome, renovated library and I'm all about it. (Yes, that's how I judge a place, by the town library.)
Ugh, moving. Your twenties are all about it, right? Good god. This will be my 8th place since leaving my mother's nest. One must count the fact that I didn't do the traditional college dorm living thing and I had my first apartment in Port Byron at 18 with the ex. That time seems so long ago, wow. I was driving my ass to the J-E high school every morning and I couldn't tell any of the authorities I was living out there, lol. My poor mother, I was such a good teenage until he showed up in my life. It's funny how you approach your later twenties and you understand how you can't tell anyone in love, especially teenagers, the harsh reality of their relationship. There's that one line in that I-can't-find-the-title Black Keys song, "Everyone knows that a broken heart is blind". Yeah well, a heart in love is just as blind most of the time. If you pay attention and reflect on your past mistakes, you can get better, faster, at realizing the harsh reality of your relationship, even if you're in love. Does it get easier? A tiny bit, but it's more like you just get better at closing your emotions off and keeping it together until you can afford to howl up at the moon.
 I have gotten a lot accomplished this year so far- finished my divorce, quit the pole (and the beautiful stilettos :( ), got a "real" job, and graduated. And I want to make the remaining 3 1/2 months as productive. I've got to find full-time work closer to home, or my jewelry business & blogging has to take off. So I'm pursuing the first AND the second. I would definitely prefer the second option over the first. I'll admit, sometimes the first seems like a dream- yeah right, bitch- you do not belong in the real business world.  I would love to be one of those sexy office women with my hair up, glasses, in a black skirt and white button-up....*meow*.....but it seems so alien and unattainable to me at the same time. We'll see.
Bottom line: I want to make much more money than I'm making now :D 
 Closing up, let me just say this: I will always, ALWAYS love seven-inch stilettos, or a.k.a. "stripper heels". Those seven inches of heel with the platform do such wonders to a girl's...everything. The legs, the booty, midsection, titties....BAM! And the power and sexiness they invoke when you strap them on (provided you're on a non-slip surface, har har) is miraculous!
K

Determined

I don't have to be in work today until 4 today, so I'm properly utilizing the time I have, which means this is going to be a quick post, fuckers.
I worked the first half of the day yesterday, then went to the club to do a quick photo shoot with Marie. She modeled some of the jewelry I have up in my Etsy shop, and I love working with her because she just has a natural beauty.
 I am determined to make money by blogging & jewelry making. It's all about making your mark and finding your own niche. Lord knows that there are thousands of bloggers out there, which means simultaneously a) it is possible to derive enough income from it and b) it is a very saturated market with most not making income from it :P Annnnddd, the same goes for jewelry making.
 And on that note, I have several writing assignments waiting to be finished, so I will take my leave. 
K

Childless

I drove to my sister's this morning to help get my niece and nephew on the bus for their first day of school. Their stupid cat- whom I rescued - was running all in the road and repeatedly going after the little girl across the street who hates cats. But I must say- that cat has made major progress- he was a complete nightmare for the first three years of his life due the trauma he sustained the first six weeks of his life. He was the third animal that I rescued or had a hand in rescuing from the club and all the idiots and animal abusers I've come into contact with through that place. I've rescued four, two of which I kept.
 Anyways, I've been feeling guilty because I don't go and hang with my niece and nephew as much as I used to. And part of it is just that I'm still sorta getting used to my life currently, and after being around annoying people at work all day, I really don't feel like being around kids. I love them, but....no. I want to go home to my childless, clean, quiet, calm place and chill with my best friend. 
 All the time I give thanks that I've never gotten pregnant. Sounds bad when I phrase it like that, instead of like, "...that I've never had kids." The former makes me sound a bit slutty, hmm?
I know that I'm only 27 and I might still change my mind....but yeah, no. I love babies, and I don't even mind changing shitty diapers. However, once they start walking and talking, my tolerance goes down significantly with each succeeding year. And they are SO full of energy, bless their little naive hearts. Wait till you figure out how exhausting & annoying life is a lot of the time, fuckers. I haven't gotten all the way there yet, and I'm tired. Children are just so much expensive work, for the rest of your life. I don't like situations that you can't get out of. Well, unless you're a total douchebag (and by that, I'm talking about parents who abuse/neglect their kids, not abortion- that's another day) , but generally kids are forever. And they're annoying for so long.
Maybe that makes me sound like a monster, but that's why I don't have any. Choices people, choices. We all got 'em, let's make smart ones, shall we? 
 Ok, I gotta go deal with those that don't make good choices, har har. 
K