Ok, so there's a clothing line that goes by Influence-Clothing, so I'll have to tweak the name a bit,
I'll get back to you about this.
Stay tuned,
KelBel
December 21, 2014
New Leaf
Like the new blog layout? I needed to change things up a bit, as I'm taking a break from intensive writing, to pick up an old love.
Do any of you remember Influence Clothing? That line I tried to make back when I was impatient and naive? Ha! Still am, but I'm learning to slow down and complete all the steps necessary to create a beautiful, finished product. Hell, I still have the business credit card, might as well use it.
So, since my future mother-in-law has bought me a dress mannequin--and I'm super excited about using it!--Influence Clothing will begin once again.
I've been thinking about what niche I want to conquer first. I would love to make jackets- both functional and dress. However, since I'm months away from having finished products, it makes sense to work on summer clothes. Which in turn, means (mostly) easier and less fabric *smirk*.
So I'm going to start with skirts. It would be fun to make frilly short skirts that I personally would never wear but are nice to look at. I'm more of a long, pencil skirt type of girl.
Ok, so I'll post more information as I come up with it.
Thank you for stopping by!
KelBel
Do any of you remember Influence Clothing? That line I tried to make back when I was impatient and naive? Ha! Still am, but I'm learning to slow down and complete all the steps necessary to create a beautiful, finished product. Hell, I still have the business credit card, might as well use it.
So, since my future mother-in-law has bought me a dress mannequin--and I'm super excited about using it!--Influence Clothing will begin once again.
I've been thinking about what niche I want to conquer first. I would love to make jackets- both functional and dress. However, since I'm months away from having finished products, it makes sense to work on summer clothes. Which in turn, means (mostly) easier and less fabric *smirk*.
So I'm going to start with skirts. It would be fun to make frilly short skirts that I personally would never wear but are nice to look at. I'm more of a long, pencil skirt type of girl.
Ok, so I'll post more information as I come up with it.
Thank you for stopping by!
KelBel
December 07, 2014
Sunday
T minus 2 hours and I'm restless
Ready to get back to focus
And straight laced intentions
Herding people like sheep
Without them knowing it
Papers tick tick tick out
Of the machine that holds
Lives in its mechanics
Secrets spill out in my hands
I read all about their struggles
And I wonder at their resilience
Then check them off my list
And we'll never meet.Happy Sunday!
Good morning, all you lovelies out there! I hope everyone is having a relaxing weekend, maybe with some reading? Of the paranormal type? Hmm?
I am dealing with a bit of a headache right now, that I believe is caused by the amount of alcohol I might have consumed last night. A strong cup of coffee will probably take care of it, after copious amounts of water.
We had A's company Christmas party last night at the casino, plenty of shmoozing and good food. I thought my hooker heels would have been too much (Guess 5"ers, love them!) but then every bitch there had sky high heels on so I felt a little dumpy in my flats.
Two wardrobe facts that I have discovered along my journey of Full Time Adult Work Schedule, is
a) I might wear a size 8 in jeans, but with dress pants I wear a size 6, so that the pants sit above my hips and saggy butt is eliminated,
and
b) when buying pumps and any leather/leatherette shoes, buy 1/2 size smaller than you normally wear, cuz them dem babies are going to stretch like a bitch. I now have a pair of dress flats and a pair of pumps that are too big. Awesome.
I've been having a small creative dilemma the last couple of weeks. A few days after I published The Awakening, it occurred to me that while yes, Book 2 needs to be worked on, but technically, I've got a little bit of freedom to explore my other creative desires.
I would still love to make my own clothing line, and I heard that a certain mother-in-law might have purchased me a mannequin to help that along.
I would also like to get back into painting, something I did when I was a teenager and I wasn't too bad, if I do say so myself.
I just haven't been feeling the writing bug lately; I've got the first couple of chapters of Book 2 of The Broken Bloodlines series sketched out, but the urge isn't there. I'm still looking for it.
Any of you out there that read The Awakening, would you please leave me a review? Even just a short comment, I want your feedback!!
Love yall,
KelBel
I am dealing with a bit of a headache right now, that I believe is caused by the amount of alcohol I might have consumed last night. A strong cup of coffee will probably take care of it, after copious amounts of water.
We had A's company Christmas party last night at the casino, plenty of shmoozing and good food. I thought my hooker heels would have been too much (Guess 5"ers, love them!) but then every bitch there had sky high heels on so I felt a little dumpy in my flats.
Two wardrobe facts that I have discovered along my journey of Full Time Adult Work Schedule, is
a) I might wear a size 8 in jeans, but with dress pants I wear a size 6, so that the pants sit above my hips and saggy butt is eliminated,
and
b) when buying pumps and any leather/leatherette shoes, buy 1/2 size smaller than you normally wear, cuz them dem babies are going to stretch like a bitch. I now have a pair of dress flats and a pair of pumps that are too big. Awesome.
I've been having a small creative dilemma the last couple of weeks. A few days after I published The Awakening, it occurred to me that while yes, Book 2 needs to be worked on, but technically, I've got a little bit of freedom to explore my other creative desires.
I would still love to make my own clothing line, and I heard that a certain mother-in-law might have purchased me a mannequin to help that along.
I would also like to get back into painting, something I did when I was a teenager and I wasn't too bad, if I do say so myself.
I just haven't been feeling the writing bug lately; I've got the first couple of chapters of Book 2 of The Broken Bloodlines series sketched out, but the urge isn't there. I'm still looking for it.
Any of you out there that read The Awakening, would you please leave me a review? Even just a short comment, I want your feedback!!
Love yall,
KelBel
November 29, 2014
The Journey to publishing The Awakening
My obsession with vampires came after I watched the first Underworld. Oh my God, I fell in love with the sleek pleather wrapped around Beckinsale’s body, and the Gothic blue/black background of the set. To me, that’s how organic vampirism is, with giant castles and dark stormy nights of bloodsucking.
I first started putting down scenes and ideas for Broken Bloodlines back in.....2006? And when I tell you that this book has evolved over the years, it is so different from what it was originally.
Originally, the majority of the action took place in a stripclub (how surprising, I know) and our main lady friend Calissa, started off as Lakyra. I still love that name, too. There was a little more sex in the original version, but I made the sex better in the published version, haha.
Back when I started working on it, I was a night owl, still doing night shifts at the club. I would sleep in till about 1 p.m., get up and make coffee, then write until about 4 when I would start to get ready for work.
If work was slow, I would take my notebook and post up at the tables against the wall, and write away until some money came through the door.
Here it is, the end of 2014, and the damn thing is finally out there. Much modified, but strengthened.
Enjoy! And when you finish it, can you leave me a review? Either here or email me at: kellyraine1818@gmail.com
Thank you all :)
KelBel
November 27, 2014
It's Live!!!
It's LIVE and only .99 and is waiting to be downloaded for your entertainment!! Need an escape after dealing with the inlaws? Download The Awakening and dive into this world! KelBel
November 23, 2014
Did you order your copy yet?
Have you ordered your copy of The Awakening, book 1 of my Broken Bloodlines series? It's only .99 and it's officially released on Thanksgiving, which is less than 3 days away!Order it HERE :D I LOVE Thanksgiving. It's all my favorite foods, and so comforting. Mmmmm turkey and gravy and football. Fuck yeah.
So here's the deal: get your pre-order in, and on Thanksgiving, you can stuff your face with deliciousness, then settle on the couch with your technology (cuz you will probably need a break from the relations) and dive into an exciting story.
The Awakening introduces a new kind of paranormal being, and is the story of a battle between twin sisters. The sisters have extraordinary powers, and will face off against one another to gain control of a sleepy little town named Nashel. Nashel has something that both girls desperately want, but they have much different intentions.
Order your copy today! If you don't have a Kindle, you can download the app on your smartphone.
Much Love,
KelBel
November 22, 2014
The Work Drain
So, dilemma:
I'm discovering that as my career grows, and I'm now in the Mon-Fri 40+ hour workweek grind, that my creativity has been drained.
Part of it is out of mental exhaustion at the end of the day- my brain is just shot, I can't come up with anything.
And the other part of it is that as my career grows, and I'm finally starting to feel like I'm getting somewhere adult-like, I don't have as much of an urge to create in order to prove myself. Does that make sense? Before, my writing was not just something to let out my creativity, but it was a strive towards purpose and productivity. Like, see? I'm not just a stripper, I'm a writer. Ahh, the good ole days. Sorta.
But maybe it's just an adjustment. It will all sort itself out. And not having a day off in the middle of the week is a bit rough- whatever you gotta get done you can hopefully get done on Saturday. Like, getting snow tires put on. This week had some hairy nights of driving home, let me tell you.
Ok, well I have a gross bathroom to get cleaned. Started a bleach soak, and consequently ruined my leggins. Fuck.
I hope everyone has an awesome weekend!!
K
I'm discovering that as my career grows, and I'm now in the Mon-Fri 40+ hour workweek grind, that my creativity has been drained.
Part of it is out of mental exhaustion at the end of the day- my brain is just shot, I can't come up with anything.
And the other part of it is that as my career grows, and I'm finally starting to feel like I'm getting somewhere adult-like, I don't have as much of an urge to create in order to prove myself. Does that make sense? Before, my writing was not just something to let out my creativity, but it was a strive towards purpose and productivity. Like, see? I'm not just a stripper, I'm a writer. Ahh, the good ole days. Sorta.
But maybe it's just an adjustment. It will all sort itself out. And not having a day off in the middle of the week is a bit rough- whatever you gotta get done you can hopefully get done on Saturday. Like, getting snow tires put on. This week had some hairy nights of driving home, let me tell you.
Ok, well I have a gross bathroom to get cleaned. Started a bleach soak, and consequently ruined my leggins. Fuck.
I hope everyone has an awesome weekend!!
K
November 13, 2014
Weird In-Between
The last couple of weeks I've been realizing what a strange demographic I'm in. I'm about to turn 29, with no kids.
I've long-outgrown the crew in the dancing world, and beyond that, most females my age have already saddled themselves up with a couple of kids, and are busy doing the mom thing. I have discovered over the years, how much moms don't seems to like to hang with non-moms. I get it, we non-kidders don't know the struggles you go through on a daily basis, we don't have to worry about finding a babysitter if we suddenly realize that we want to go raid the BOGO sale at our favorite boutique.
So where does that leave me? I guess I should seek out other near-thirty year olds that don't have children, but that's more effort I want to put in to finding friends. It's not a constant want, but sometimes I wish I had one or two girlfriends to chill and shop with.
K
I've long-outgrown the crew in the dancing world, and beyond that, most females my age have already saddled themselves up with a couple of kids, and are busy doing the mom thing. I have discovered over the years, how much moms don't seems to like to hang with non-moms. I get it, we non-kidders don't know the struggles you go through on a daily basis, we don't have to worry about finding a babysitter if we suddenly realize that we want to go raid the BOGO sale at our favorite boutique.
So where does that leave me? I guess I should seek out other near-thirty year olds that don't have children, but that's more effort I want to put in to finding friends. It's not a constant want, but sometimes I wish I had one or two girlfriends to chill and shop with.
K
November 10, 2014
November 08, 2014
(Late) Fall Foliage
.jpg)
Happy Saturday! (Or Caturday as my Google Feed seemed to be all about!)
Ah, the weekend. Let me tell you, as someone recently freed from the world of retail, having every weekend off is AWESOME!!
My first week at the new job went well, I love it there! The people are cool, they have a great culture and starting on Monday, things are going to get busy! Bring it on ;)
Today is my nephew's birthday party, and there are a bunch of other errands that need to be accomplished as well. We got up at like 6:30 today lol #morningfreaks
My cat got all confused with the time change, and now my work schedule has him getting loud and annoying even earlier in the morning. Like, 4:30 a.m. he starts his shit. He needs to get with the program.
I'm really blogging right now because I just gave myself a #weekendmani and I'm waiting the final minutes for it to dry before I get ready to run errands.
Looks like the pre-orders for my vampire novel are rolling in, and it's so exciting! Have you ordered your copy of The Awakening yet? (Psst! It's only .99!) If you don't own a Kindle, but you have a smart phone, you can download the Kindle app and be on your paranormal adventure way!
All of you are awesome!
K
My first week at the new job went well, I love it there! The people are cool, they have a great culture and starting on Monday, things are going to get busy! Bring it on ;)
Today is my nephew's birthday party, and there are a bunch of other errands that need to be accomplished as well. We got up at like 6:30 today lol #morningfreaks
My cat got all confused with the time change, and now my work schedule has him getting loud and annoying even earlier in the morning. Like, 4:30 a.m. he starts his shit. He needs to get with the program.
I'm really blogging right now because I just gave myself a #weekendmani and I'm waiting the final minutes for it to dry before I get ready to run errands.
Looks like the pre-orders for my vampire novel are rolling in, and it's so exciting! Have you ordered your copy of The Awakening yet? (Psst! It's only .99!) If you don't own a Kindle, but you have a smart phone, you can download the Kindle app and be on your paranormal adventure way!
All of you are awesome!
K
November 03, 2014
Tempering
The strangeness of liberation-
the ending of Hotel California
within the echo made from
the once sought after.
Did that which she sought
existed only off of
those hollow words that only
she had time to revamp
and figure out where the race was
being held at
and how she could find it once again.
November 02, 2014
In Celebration of NaNoWriMo
In honor of November 1st and the crazy month long writing fest known as NaNoWriMo, I did some research and pulled together three titles that were birthed out of the writing month. I personally have never been able to reach the 50K requirement, but someday.....
These titles are awesome, and I was surprised at how many I was familiar with. Go WriMos!
1. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
I actually know exactly where this book is on my library's shelves. I've had my eye on it, as I was reminded of such freakish circuses like those delivered by Ray Bradbury. I must definitely pick it up now that I know it was written by a WriMo.
2. Wool, by Hugh Howey
Maybe it's the fact that it takes place in a post-apocalyptic setting, or the fact that the survivors live in a giant silo (so jealous!). Whatever the reason, this book sounds amazing.
3. Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen
Yes, I have a thing for circuses. This book is on my personal top ten- such a good story, tight narrative that successfully crosses generations, humor laced throughout, along with a dangerous love story.
These titles are awesome, and I was surprised at how many I was familiar with. Go WriMos!
1. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
I actually know exactly where this book is on my library's shelves. I've had my eye on it, as I was reminded of such freakish circuses like those delivered by Ray Bradbury. I must definitely pick it up now that I know it was written by a WriMo. 2. Wool, by Hugh Howey
Maybe it's the fact that it takes place in a post-apocalyptic setting, or the fact that the survivors live in a giant silo (so jealous!). Whatever the reason, this book sounds amazing. 3. Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen
Yes, I have a thing for circuses. This book is on my personal top ten- such a good story, tight narrative that successfully crosses generations, humor laced throughout, along with a dangerous love story. October 31, 2014
October 30, 2014
E-Book release!!
Meet my baby of almost 10 years in the making (yes, I got distracted a lot over those 10 years!)
The Awakening, Book 1 of the Broken Bloodlines series.
It's official e-book release is Thanksgiving Day, but you can preorder it here!
Here are the deets:
One cold November night, a very special pair of twin girls were born.
Little did those screaming, red-faced infants know that on their 19th
birthday, they would both be plunged into the middle of a battle between
ancient beings ...
Nashel is a large town with a special history. There are different kinds of beings that watch over it, and guard its precious cargo. Calissa and Kaellina Dorr grew up as outcasts on the edge of Nashel and are now sworn enemies. Both want control over Nashel and what its hiding under its many layers. Calissa, with help of the other ancient beings that inhabit Nashel, is trying to keep Kaellina from finding that which she so desperately seeks. Each sister has dangerous, new powers that no one in Nashel has seen before and the future will be decided by the winner of the war between beings.
In this first book of the Broken Bloodlines series, meet the main characters and learn the prestory of the Morgins.
Nashel is a large town with a special history. There are different kinds of beings that watch over it, and guard its precious cargo. Calissa and Kaellina Dorr grew up as outcasts on the edge of Nashel and are now sworn enemies. Both want control over Nashel and what its hiding under its many layers. Calissa, with help of the other ancient beings that inhabit Nashel, is trying to keep Kaellina from finding that which she so desperately seeks. Each sister has dangerous, new powers that no one in Nashel has seen before and the future will be decided by the winner of the war between beings.
In this first book of the Broken Bloodlines series, meet the main characters and learn the prestory of the Morgins.
October 29, 2014
The Awakening available for Pre-Order!
It's release date is sooner than expected! Pre- Order Book 1 of the Broken Bloodlines series with this link:
It will be released Thanksgiving Day! Upload it to your Kindle and Enjoy it while your digesting your Thanksgiving meal, and before you pass out from the overload of tryptophan.
As always, I'm always open to hosting other authors on my blog!
Email me at: kellyraine1818@gmail.com to send me your info!
Remember, we're in this publishing struggle together.
K
You can all relax, Mercury Retrograde is over
I kept seeing all these little snippets on social media about Mercury Retrograde, and when will it be over, and omg it's so bad (Okay, so mostly from RKOBH). Of course my ass waits until it's passed to actually read up on it. I figured it meant that the current alignment of Mercury was wreaking havoc on peoples lives.
Retrograde means that the planet appears to be moving backward in the sky. Mercury comes from the Latin word merx, or mercator, which means merchant (thank you, Almanac.com) and is also the name that the ancient Romans gave to the Greek god Hermes (yes, before he got epitomized in the form of bright orange boxes and outrageously priced scarves). Anyways, when Mercury's in retrograde, one is supposed to stay calm, don't make any important financial decisions, don't travel, play it safe and keep your head down until the chaos has passed.
Now, I'm looking back at the time period when such chaos was ensuing, and I didn't really have any disasters. I was totally miserable at my old job, but I hooked myself up with a better one. I did give one super shitty haircut, however, that WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN! That, I'm going to blame on Mercury Retrograde for sure.
How was your October between the 4th and the 25th?
K
Retrograde means that the planet appears to be moving backward in the sky. Mercury comes from the Latin word merx, or mercator, which means merchant (thank you, Almanac.com) and is also the name that the ancient Romans gave to the Greek god Hermes (yes, before he got epitomized in the form of bright orange boxes and outrageously priced scarves). Anyways, when Mercury's in retrograde, one is supposed to stay calm, don't make any important financial decisions, don't travel, play it safe and keep your head down until the chaos has passed.
Now, I'm looking back at the time period when such chaos was ensuing, and I didn't really have any disasters. I was totally miserable at my old job, but I hooked myself up with a better one. I did give one super shitty haircut, however, that WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN! That, I'm going to blame on Mercury Retrograde for sure.
How was your October between the 4th and the 25th?
K
October 27, 2014
Almost there....
It won't be long now before Part I of my preternatural series, Broken Bloodlines, will be released as an e-book! I am anticipating a Christmas release and I'm very excited! Broken Bloodlines features twists on new and old creatures, a whole lot of action, and an occasional scintillating erotic scene (of course!) There are many more 'parts' in the works and in my brain, so I hope that all my faithful readers will jump on this train and take this journey with me!
Willow Black Files Update (an erotic tale):
Will Samson give up his post as a Naval Commander, to be able to spend more time with Willow? How will that change their relationship? Is it possible for them to spend too much time together?
Elemental Evil Update (A supernatural adventure series):
Who is Dr. Zoo? More importantly, is he friend or foe? Follow Samila and Morgan on an adventure of several lifetimes- and dimensions!
Catch up with the back story of both web series on the blog: kellyraine.blogspot.com and stay tuned for more!!
October 18, 2014
Career Advancement and I Have Fallen off the Writing Train
Good morning my little munchkins. I have excellent news- I have landed a new job- better paying, better atmosphere, better....everything (insert emoticons of celebrations).
I had a hellish week of back-to-back interviews, one every damn day except on Thursday. Got the news on my Friday lunch break and was breaking out in mini jigs all rest of the day while I moved around Christmas merchandise at the current job. Which gets you covered in glitter. How ironic is it that I never wore glitter-which everyone associates with strippers and whores- while dancing but now twinkle regularly?? (Naked tip-girls, don't ever wear glitter. The key is anonymity- the guys want memories, not physical evidence to take home to their wives. DONT. WEAR. GLITTER. EVER.)
Anyways, I start next month and I'M SO EXCITED!! I have to get pretty much a whole new wardrobe, which is exciting with a touch of sadness. I can wear pretty clothes, and HEELS !!!!! and not sweat my ass off all day! Which in turn, means that a gym membership will be necessary. Not a problem- that is my preferred mode of exercise. A little tiny bit sad because no more yoga pants. So comfy. No more shopping discount :((((
As far as falling off the writing train, I've just been so distracted and exhausted and in business mode that the writing bug gets trampled. Don't worry- I feel it coming back already and I think I will take a train ride today. I don't know if I will ever be able to balance the writer and the businesswoman, they don't like each other. Hmm, should I work on Willow Black or Broken Bloodlines?
By the way, I have had this vampire story in my head for 10 years. And it's still not done. I have such strong moments of wanting to scrap it. I probably should. But I feel like there's a strong, inventive element I can work into it. It just hasn't shown itself to me yet. There's some surprising twist in the plot and the characters that will be amazing once it finally pops out.
I'm listening to electronic dub right now, and it's amazing. Once in a while the alien spaceship sound will go off and I'll jump :P Good Times.
K
I had a hellish week of back-to-back interviews, one every damn day except on Thursday. Got the news on my Friday lunch break and was breaking out in mini jigs all rest of the day while I moved around Christmas merchandise at the current job. Which gets you covered in glitter. How ironic is it that I never wore glitter-which everyone associates with strippers and whores- while dancing but now twinkle regularly?? (Naked tip-girls, don't ever wear glitter. The key is anonymity- the guys want memories, not physical evidence to take home to their wives. DONT. WEAR. GLITTER. EVER.)
Anyways, I start next month and I'M SO EXCITED!! I have to get pretty much a whole new wardrobe, which is exciting with a touch of sadness. I can wear pretty clothes, and HEELS !!!!! and not sweat my ass off all day! Which in turn, means that a gym membership will be necessary. Not a problem- that is my preferred mode of exercise. A little tiny bit sad because no more yoga pants. So comfy. No more shopping discount :((((
As far as falling off the writing train, I've just been so distracted and exhausted and in business mode that the writing bug gets trampled. Don't worry- I feel it coming back already and I think I will take a train ride today. I don't know if I will ever be able to balance the writer and the businesswoman, they don't like each other. Hmm, should I work on Willow Black or Broken Bloodlines?
By the way, I have had this vampire story in my head for 10 years. And it's still not done. I have such strong moments of wanting to scrap it. I probably should. But I feel like there's a strong, inventive element I can work into it. It just hasn't shown itself to me yet. There's some surprising twist in the plot and the characters that will be amazing once it finally pops out.
I'm listening to electronic dub right now, and it's amazing. Once in a while the alien spaceship sound will go off and I'll jump :P Good Times.
K
October 15, 2014
Humpday
I'm fucking exhausted. And the man is talking to me about a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich with crushed cool ranch Doritos? What the fuck? Ok, I'm down. He has led me to great mountains of deliciousness in our two year dance, so I will trust him in this.
This week has been....full, so far. A bunch of interviews- I'm making peace with the uncomfortable button up dress shirts. Yuck. Why do they make them so short? Am I just buying the wrong ones? I suspect the key is high-waisted dress pants, and a belt. And don't forget the cream colored camisole underneath the white shirt. Is it not such a great thing to have your boobs outlined to distract potential employers? Ah, the good ole days when that little detail would make one a shitload of money....
Meanwhile, my current employment has a new district manager who's going to be further up our assholes than our respective colons. What joy. I have been mentally checked out for about a month now and while truthfully, I don't give a flying fuck about pleasing him, or the corporate dickwads, but I will continue to perform my job as wanted.
Ok, it's time for me to check out. Gnite, peeps.
K
This week has been....full, so far. A bunch of interviews- I'm making peace with the uncomfortable button up dress shirts. Yuck. Why do they make them so short? Am I just buying the wrong ones? I suspect the key is high-waisted dress pants, and a belt. And don't forget the cream colored camisole underneath the white shirt. Is it not such a great thing to have your boobs outlined to distract potential employers? Ah, the good ole days when that little detail would make one a shitload of money....
Meanwhile, my current employment has a new district manager who's going to be further up our assholes than our respective colons. What joy. I have been mentally checked out for about a month now and while truthfully, I don't give a flying fuck about pleasing him, or the corporate dickwads, but I will continue to perform my job as wanted.
Ok, it's time for me to check out. Gnite, peeps.
K
October 13, 2014
Strong
I am entering a second coming, if you will.
Of late, I've been pondering just how I've transformed over the last year and a half. I'm not sure, but I have an inkling, that all retired dancers have to go through a period of rediscovery after the world of nakedness- entering the real world and the job market. Losing the mass of admiring, drooling men creates a weird gray void that is slowly filled in or erased over time. It's not just them, it's being at the top of something that yes, is nothing to be admired, but still- going from top bitch to...bottom of the barrel.
I've been realizing just how much my current place of employment has not helped me find myself. Instead it has further dampered my spirit and zest. It's a very cold place, that very rarely gives feedback and encouragement. The employees are just grunt workers- meant to be used and abused. I've lost track of the hard work ethic and enthusiasm I used to have, and I'm in the process of digging that up again. I know I still have it in me, I just have to shake it awake once again and remind myself that yes, I'm a great worker and deserve a better post. It's like I moved from a position that society frowned upon but which I owned, to one that is slightly abusive. I'm only recently realizing this.
I'm in the process of getting that back, finding it once again. Shaping a stronger, more resilient, slightly arrogant version of myself. I need a little arrogance right now. Bull headedness, not accepting no for an answer. Going full steam ahead, a bit reckless, but also intelligent, and calculating.
Returning to my current job tomorrow, there will be a little more 'fuck you' inside of me, which has been increasing as of late. I will perform my duties as expected, and I will continue to provide excellent customer service, but taking away the anxiety of hoping to please while never getting positive feedback helps me be stronger. Does that make any sense?
K
Of late, I've been pondering just how I've transformed over the last year and a half. I'm not sure, but I have an inkling, that all retired dancers have to go through a period of rediscovery after the world of nakedness- entering the real world and the job market. Losing the mass of admiring, drooling men creates a weird gray void that is slowly filled in or erased over time. It's not just them, it's being at the top of something that yes, is nothing to be admired, but still- going from top bitch to...bottom of the barrel.
I've been realizing just how much my current place of employment has not helped me find myself. Instead it has further dampered my spirit and zest. It's a very cold place, that very rarely gives feedback and encouragement. The employees are just grunt workers- meant to be used and abused. I've lost track of the hard work ethic and enthusiasm I used to have, and I'm in the process of digging that up again. I know I still have it in me, I just have to shake it awake once again and remind myself that yes, I'm a great worker and deserve a better post. It's like I moved from a position that society frowned upon but which I owned, to one that is slightly abusive. I'm only recently realizing this.
I'm in the process of getting that back, finding it once again. Shaping a stronger, more resilient, slightly arrogant version of myself. I need a little arrogance right now. Bull headedness, not accepting no for an answer. Going full steam ahead, a bit reckless, but also intelligent, and calculating.
Returning to my current job tomorrow, there will be a little more 'fuck you' inside of me, which has been increasing as of late. I will perform my duties as expected, and I will continue to provide excellent customer service, but taking away the anxiety of hoping to please while never getting positive feedback helps me be stronger. Does that make any sense?
K
October 04, 2014
October 02, 2014
Choo Bear
This is what I come downstairs to in the morning <3 He goes nicely with a fresh cup of coffee :)
I'm going to work for a bit on Elemental Evil, part 5, and decide whether this new character is good or evil. The opinion has been on the side of evil ;)
What is everyone working on today?
Leave me your opinion on the new character in my comments! Dr. Zoo- good or bad?
K
I'm going to work for a bit on Elemental Evil, part 5, and decide whether this new character is good or evil. The opinion has been on the side of evil ;)
What is everyone working on today?
Leave me your opinion on the new character in my comments! Dr. Zoo- good or bad?
K
September 27, 2014
Identity Crisis
Ok, so it's not a crisis, per se, as I don't do crises. But lately- at times- I find myself a little...lost. No doubt due to the fact that a life-change coincided with a "personal growth spurt" in my timeline. I'm curious, does this happen to all ex-dancers? I would bet it does. As much as its a bad idea to let the lifestyle inundate your life, it happens inevitably.
I've also had more SAD lately than normal for fall. The change of seasons always brings back so many memories, but I am especially sad the good weather is going.
The offers for interviews are finally coming in- thank god. Now just to get through a slurry of interviews and find a landing place. And get out of there before the Christmas hustle really starts. We're already getting Christmas candy in by the boatload.I don't mind the customer service so much (although yesterday I just wanted to post up in the middle of the store and scream out, "NO I CAN'T FUCKING HELP YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME GET SOMETHING DONE TODAY!!!) I just am quite tired of cleaning up after people.
I owe you guys another installment of Elemental Evil, I know. Three weeks is about when I lose steam for a project, I wasn't surprised. I'm not giving up on it, don't worry. It's been fun to write. I'm purposely keeping the installments short, as it's easier for me to be more regular with it, and I think the audience does better with shorter pieces. We're all fitting it in on our lunch breaks, right?
Off to create.
K
I've also had more SAD lately than normal for fall. The change of seasons always brings back so many memories, but I am especially sad the good weather is going.
The offers for interviews are finally coming in- thank god. Now just to get through a slurry of interviews and find a landing place. And get out of there before the Christmas hustle really starts. We're already getting Christmas candy in by the boatload.I don't mind the customer service so much (although yesterday I just wanted to post up in the middle of the store and scream out, "NO I CAN'T FUCKING HELP YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME GET SOMETHING DONE TODAY!!!) I just am quite tired of cleaning up after people.
I owe you guys another installment of Elemental Evil, I know. Three weeks is about when I lose steam for a project, I wasn't surprised. I'm not giving up on it, don't worry. It's been fun to write. I'm purposely keeping the installments short, as it's easier for me to be more regular with it, and I think the audience does better with shorter pieces. We're all fitting it in on our lunch breaks, right?
Off to create.
K
September 22, 2014
Ok, so maybe I changed my mind
I managed to get into my Kelly Raine Yahoo account, which had been compromised for like 2 years. Maybe it was looking at all the old emails, including the one where I had queried a publisher down in Florida about sending my paranormal novel to them, but now I feel like I should just keep building my audience on the platform I already developed. I mean, I've had Kelly Raine since.....2001? 2002?
So...maybe I'll gift you guys with my first three installments of Elemental Evil, my web series.
Promise you'll read it?
K
So...maybe I'll gift you guys with my first three installments of Elemental Evil, my web series.
Promise you'll read it?
K
September 21, 2014
Where's Waldo?
As you might have guessed, I've moved to a different blog where I'm building a professional platform. As I've mentioned before, I'm slowly phasing out Kelly Raine. Time to put that bitch to rest.
Yet....I'm not totally putting her down. There's so much history with that persona, and she has a few fans ;)
Just an update.
K
Yet....I'm not totally putting her down. There's so much history with that persona, and she has a few fans ;)
Just an update.
K
August 28, 2014
Horner Nach Unten
Another day off spent in a tired funk. I'm not sure how much of my sleepiness is actual sleepiness, or depression.
I'm not really depressed. I think I'm just burned out from this job, and physically overworked and stressed at not making enough money. Also, it's been a bummer not really getting many responses from the applications I've put in all over. I think it's very strange that this time last year when I was job hunting, with a less stellar resume, I had calls from all over the place. This time, its been a trickle.Wtf Syracuse area?
Remember that novel I was working on earlier this year that I accidentally erased? I think I might pick it up again, and do two at once. The characters are banging around in my head, and it's easier to work on when I'm in a stormy mood.
Alright, I'm heading downstairs to cook some bacon and make coffee. We're making feta cheese stuffed burgers with bacon (shit, I just remembered I forgot to get mushrooms) for dinner and the coffee is for me. Now. So I can be a little productive.
K
I'm not really depressed. I think I'm just burned out from this job, and physically overworked and stressed at not making enough money. Also, it's been a bummer not really getting many responses from the applications I've put in all over. I think it's very strange that this time last year when I was job hunting, with a less stellar resume, I had calls from all over the place. This time, its been a trickle.Wtf Syracuse area?
Remember that novel I was working on earlier this year that I accidentally erased? I think I might pick it up again, and do two at once. The characters are banging around in my head, and it's easier to work on when I'm in a stormy mood.
Alright, I'm heading downstairs to cook some bacon and make coffee. We're making feta cheese stuffed burgers with bacon (shit, I just remembered I forgot to get mushrooms) for dinner and the coffee is for me. Now. So I can be a little productive.
K
August 07, 2014
Writing Mojo Garden
This last week I did a mini experiment, and tried to see if I could stick to the same writing place and continue to be productive. I moved my laptop and writing paraphernalia to the kitchen table, and I had two days of successful page count. By the third day, (it always seems to be the third day) my muse was bored with that location, and I moved back to the couch. The day in the future when I'm blessed with a writing room of my own, I guess I'm going to have to have several writing spots within that room to keep my muse sufficiently entertained. And let's hope that I can keep her within the room.
This matter of not being able to stick to one spot for writing used to bother me, but I think I'm mostly resigned to it. It's just not for me, I guess. I've made great strides in maintaining my concentration, and increasing word count, but I guess a stagnant location is not my cup of mojo.
So currently, I'm on the couch, quite comfortable, and I have today's scene all planned out. I think I'm going to make a little more coffee, and get to it. I've got about two and a half hours to shape this world before I gotta go do those pesky things called "errands".
Happy writing!
kr
This matter of not being able to stick to one spot for writing used to bother me, but I think I'm mostly resigned to it. It's just not for me, I guess. I've made great strides in maintaining my concentration, and increasing word count, but I guess a stagnant location is not my cup of mojo.
So currently, I'm on the couch, quite comfortable, and I have today's scene all planned out. I think I'm going to make a little more coffee, and get to it. I've got about two and a half hours to shape this world before I gotta go do those pesky things called "errands".
Happy writing!
kr
July 29, 2014
This is me Trying. At least soon.
I am a little frustrated at myself tonight. I am frustrated that I wasted so many years when I was only working twenty hours a week, and I never finished this stupid manuscript. Ok, I'm sorry manuscript- you're not stupid. Your writer is stupid.
Now I work full-time, in a physically demanding position, and all I want to do when I get home is go to bed. Well, drink a little vodka and pass out. I feel totally unable to come up with the needed creativity for the book. So I hop onto my favorite writers' blogs, and try to drum up some motivation. Sometimes it works, it often doesn't. And look- here I am, writing a blog instead of working on the book. Unfortunately, spilling out my thoughts is always easier than coming up with new stuff.
Fuck a duck. Ok, get it together just for a little while longer. Self, you have a great laptop to write on, now use it. You're 75% really done, finish this damn thing. And I plan on making this a trilogy?? HA!
Take a shower?
NO. Write.
My nails really need to be painted....
NO. Write.
*Sigh*
K.
Now I work full-time, in a physically demanding position, and all I want to do when I get home is go to bed. Well, drink a little vodka and pass out. I feel totally unable to come up with the needed creativity for the book. So I hop onto my favorite writers' blogs, and try to drum up some motivation. Sometimes it works, it often doesn't. And look- here I am, writing a blog instead of working on the book. Unfortunately, spilling out my thoughts is always easier than coming up with new stuff.
Fuck a duck. Ok, get it together just for a little while longer. Self, you have a great laptop to write on, now use it. You're 75% really done, finish this damn thing. And I plan on making this a trilogy?? HA!
Take a shower?
NO. Write.
My nails really need to be painted....
NO. Write.
*Sigh*
K.
July 14, 2014
Lost Girl
Here I am, staying up too late once again. Work took forever to get through tonight, I thought the shift would never end. I was feeling very emotional tonight- I really really miss my mama :( It was probably a good thing that A was asleep when I got home, cuz I think I would have started crying if he hugged me. I should still have a good cry session in the shower, just to get all that funky juju out of my system. Sometimes I get panicky, thinking of all the time that's going by that I'm not spending with my mom and she's not going to be around forever. (Ahh, here come the tears!) Technology is great for keeping in touch over distances, but nothing beats the real deal. I get jealous over the mother/daughter pairs I see shopping together, and I wish I could do that with her. Not that she ever just goes leisure shopping- Ha! I will be going down to see her in a couple of weeks, it's just never enough time to really hang out and talk. When she comes up here, I'm usually working and it sucks that we can't chill. Is this part of getting close to thirty, that you start having anxiety attacks over your aging parents? Christ.
I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. Tuesdays suck ass b/c I'm coming off of three nights closing, and going to bed too late. Getting up the energy for my physically demanding job on Tuesday mornings is hard to accomplish. That, and keeping my mood decent.
I need to shift gears, and find something better paying and better scheduled. I'm already so tired of several aspects at that place, but at the same time, I'm dreading the whole job hunting/interviewing process. UGH. I will be much better at it this go- around, but it's still a bit nerve-racking.
Which brings me to the other bit of angst I'm feeling- I am really missing the old good money Saturday nights at the club. Back when Cory was there, and the stage shows and the fun times we used to have and the crazy customers and the dancing and the loud ass music and the sky high heels and the drugs and making out with girls. *Sigh* I miss flirting with girls, slapping ass and squeezing on boobies. The place still had energy back then, it's not pathetic like it is now. And it's not just that place, all of Syracuse has become a black hole for naked entertainment. Syracuse has lost a lot of businesses over the last ten years, and it shows.
Sometimes it seems like a dream, that I had a million years ago.
Alright, let me get my ass in the shower and get all this shit out of my head. Hopefully I'll be able to pass out afterward.
kr
I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. Tuesdays suck ass b/c I'm coming off of three nights closing, and going to bed too late. Getting up the energy for my physically demanding job on Tuesday mornings is hard to accomplish. That, and keeping my mood decent.
I need to shift gears, and find something better paying and better scheduled. I'm already so tired of several aspects at that place, but at the same time, I'm dreading the whole job hunting/interviewing process. UGH. I will be much better at it this go- around, but it's still a bit nerve-racking.
Which brings me to the other bit of angst I'm feeling- I am really missing the old good money Saturday nights at the club. Back when Cory was there, and the stage shows and the fun times we used to have and the crazy customers and the dancing and the loud ass music and the sky high heels and the drugs and making out with girls. *Sigh* I miss flirting with girls, slapping ass and squeezing on boobies. The place still had energy back then, it's not pathetic like it is now. And it's not just that place, all of Syracuse has become a black hole for naked entertainment. Syracuse has lost a lot of businesses over the last ten years, and it shows.
Sometimes it seems like a dream, that I had a million years ago.
Alright, let me get my ass in the shower and get all this shit out of my head. Hopefully I'll be able to pass out afterward.
kr
May 29, 2014
Forgotten Angst
You know what I realized is missing from my life now? The paranoia that used to plague me when I ventured to work outside of the dancing world. I had a brief stint at a restaurant several years ago, and I was constantly paranoid that I would be recognized. I always wore baggy shirts and pulled my hair up- of course I knew how looking pretty translated into better tips, but I was just too paranoid.
When I started in retail last June (it's almost been a year!) I had a bit of that paranoia still, but it was hedged out by the pride I had in myself for getting out of the club. My first job wasn't anything glamorous, that's for sure, but still. The customers I deal with now are a galaxy ahead of those at the first job. Good Lord.
And now, I don't worry about it. Occasionally I will see someone from that part of my life, but I just laugh about it (unless it's someone who I can't stand, then I avoid them). There is a guy who I see at work and who stops to chat a couple times a week that I know from the club, but he thinks that I look familiar just from seeing me in the store. I'm pretty confident that he really doesn't realize that he knows me from there, and the other employees make fun of him 'cuz he's a little weird. Dorky, quiet with big old glasses, but he's a good guy. He was another girl's regular while I was dancing, and she enjoyed his visits and he was a good tipper. I'm always tempted to pull him aside and remind him, but I'm pretty sure he would get super embarrassed and we would never see him again. And, just let sleeping dogs lie, right?
K
When I started in retail last June (it's almost been a year!) I had a bit of that paranoia still, but it was hedged out by the pride I had in myself for getting out of the club. My first job wasn't anything glamorous, that's for sure, but still. The customers I deal with now are a galaxy ahead of those at the first job. Good Lord.
And now, I don't worry about it. Occasionally I will see someone from that part of my life, but I just laugh about it (unless it's someone who I can't stand, then I avoid them). There is a guy who I see at work and who stops to chat a couple times a week that I know from the club, but he thinks that I look familiar just from seeing me in the store. I'm pretty confident that he really doesn't realize that he knows me from there, and the other employees make fun of him 'cuz he's a little weird. Dorky, quiet with big old glasses, but he's a good guy. He was another girl's regular while I was dancing, and she enjoyed his visits and he was a good tipper. I'm always tempted to pull him aside and remind him, but I'm pretty sure he would get super embarrassed and we would never see him again. And, just let sleeping dogs lie, right?
K
April 28, 2014
Writing & Vampires
I think I get too serious about writing. I mean, there is quite a bit that has be serious- correct punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. But the story itself- why do I struggle to be more imaginative and take more risks? Lord knows I still have the imagination of a 10-year old, why do I have so much trouble translating that on paper?
I have loved the written word....books....writing....since I can remember. I loved adventure stories the most, and am fascinated with all sorts of creatures, that's why the paranormal genre is really the best avenue for me. Then I can just make shit up.
Which brings me to my next case-in-point: when it comes to vampires, I don't believe there's really a set bunch of rules. There are many many different versions of them in ancient worldwide folklore, and yes, there are two "rules" that usually show up: sunlight is not a friend, and blood is yummy. But whether that blood should be let through a thigh artery, or a newborn's pinkie, changes depending on the part of the world. Along with different methods for protecting yourself from them.
And as writers, I believe we're allowed to shape our vampires however we want. I personally love the Underworld version the best: they live in dreary castles, wear sexy black costumes complete with dusters, and are aristocratic snobs. I love the blue-black backdrop of those movies and let's not get me started on Selena.... ;)
Vampires should be deadly, and sexy as hell. I suppose that's why vamp chic lit *sneer* has never really pulled me in. It's too normal. Vampires are not normal. Vampires are Gods of the Dark.
Every guy that I've dated has rolled his eyes when I start talking vampires. I know, most guys think they're corny.
However, the women with any sense know- Vampires can get it.
Ok, I need to go listen to mine.
K
I have loved the written word....books....writing....since I can remember. I loved adventure stories the most, and am fascinated with all sorts of creatures, that's why the paranormal genre is really the best avenue for me. Then I can just make shit up.
Which brings me to my next case-in-point: when it comes to vampires, I don't believe there's really a set bunch of rules. There are many many different versions of them in ancient worldwide folklore, and yes, there are two "rules" that usually show up: sunlight is not a friend, and blood is yummy. But whether that blood should be let through a thigh artery, or a newborn's pinkie, changes depending on the part of the world. Along with different methods for protecting yourself from them.
And as writers, I believe we're allowed to shape our vampires however we want. I personally love the Underworld version the best: they live in dreary castles, wear sexy black costumes complete with dusters, and are aristocratic snobs. I love the blue-black backdrop of those movies and let's not get me started on Selena.... ;)
Vampires should be deadly, and sexy as hell. I suppose that's why vamp chic lit *sneer* has never really pulled me in. It's too normal. Vampires are not normal. Vampires are Gods of the Dark.
Every guy that I've dated has rolled his eyes when I start talking vampires. I know, most guys think they're corny.
However, the women with any sense know- Vampires can get it.
Ok, I need to go listen to mine.
K
April 15, 2014
Future Whatevers
Don't worry guys, I'm better. Monday has passed, along with its insanity.
We had a crazy day at work, and I feel frustrated b/c there's still so much to do that we didn't get done today. Plus we have a HUGE truck tomorrow, which is going to get everything backed up.
I don't know if I'm going to be at this company for a long time, but as its a strong and growing company, there are plenty of opportunities that I can take, and avenues of personal interest that I would love to be involved in. I will be a manager someday, not because I necessarily want to be one, but I want the knowledge and experience.
Some days, I leave work feeling really good about my future with this company, and some days I leave feeling frustrated and restless.
I've been thinking about going back to school for business administration. Again, not because I'm terribly interested in the subject matter, but I need to know it. Yes, I still have dreams of having my own shop someday ;)
I just had a delicious dinner that was cooking and filling up the house with its delicious smells when I got home. I still have a headache, but with the food in my belly and a glass of alcoholic relaxation, I'll be just fine ;)
K
We had a crazy day at work, and I feel frustrated b/c there's still so much to do that we didn't get done today. Plus we have a HUGE truck tomorrow, which is going to get everything backed up.
I don't know if I'm going to be at this company for a long time, but as its a strong and growing company, there are plenty of opportunities that I can take, and avenues of personal interest that I would love to be involved in. I will be a manager someday, not because I necessarily want to be one, but I want the knowledge and experience.
Some days, I leave work feeling really good about my future with this company, and some days I leave feeling frustrated and restless.
I've been thinking about going back to school for business administration. Again, not because I'm terribly interested in the subject matter, but I need to know it. Yes, I still have dreams of having my own shop someday ;)
I just had a delicious dinner that was cooking and filling up the house with its delicious smells when I got home. I still have a headache, but with the food in my belly and a glass of alcoholic relaxation, I'll be just fine ;)
K
April 14, 2014
Monday Madness
Hello Monday, you evil serpentine element of my psyche.
I'm a little nutty most Mondays. Especially ones after I had the weekend off, like this past one. My weekends are pretty epic and delicious, so when A leaves for work, there's this huge void suddenly.
Separation Anxiety can suck it. It's so not who I normally am, but on Mondays, it rears its ugly head and I spend all morning dodging it. I don't work until afternoon on Mondays, and from about 10 a.m. to 1, I try to stay busy (or asleep) and have to stifle mini panic attacks that threaten to rise up. It's ugly, it is. Three stupid hours of hell, and then I can distract myself with getting ready for work.
A part of it is reverse SAD, which has always plagued me about this time of year most of my life. I get an overwhelming feeling of being left out of something- I feel like everyone is off doing something summery and fun and I'm left behind. Which is stupid in itself, because I'm naturally a loner and I don't give a shit if people are off cavorting around. I cavort by myself just fine.
I think it traces back to my childhood, when I was always facing pressure to be more active, and more sports/team oriented. It was even worse when my mom moved us out to the country, and the community there was so sports oriented. Once I started working on the neighboring farms, I had a very active lifestyle, it just wasn't on a team. I've always hated organized sports, "those kinds of kids" intimidated the fuck out of me.
But anyways, I'm going to really concentrate on my novel, and hopefully get most of the final battle scene done. I'm anxious to be done with this one, and when I need motivation, I think about how I'd rather be a full-time writer than having a real job. I mean, I've made tremendous progress in getting a career going, but when it comes down to brass tacks (hehe, that's the first time I've ever used that expression!) I'd rather be writing.
So let's all remember to just breathe today, ok? Everything is going to be fine.
K
I'm a little nutty most Mondays. Especially ones after I had the weekend off, like this past one. My weekends are pretty epic and delicious, so when A leaves for work, there's this huge void suddenly.
Separation Anxiety can suck it. It's so not who I normally am, but on Mondays, it rears its ugly head and I spend all morning dodging it. I don't work until afternoon on Mondays, and from about 10 a.m. to 1, I try to stay busy (or asleep) and have to stifle mini panic attacks that threaten to rise up. It's ugly, it is. Three stupid hours of hell, and then I can distract myself with getting ready for work.
A part of it is reverse SAD, which has always plagued me about this time of year most of my life. I get an overwhelming feeling of being left out of something- I feel like everyone is off doing something summery and fun and I'm left behind. Which is stupid in itself, because I'm naturally a loner and I don't give a shit if people are off cavorting around. I cavort by myself just fine.
I think it traces back to my childhood, when I was always facing pressure to be more active, and more sports/team oriented. It was even worse when my mom moved us out to the country, and the community there was so sports oriented. Once I started working on the neighboring farms, I had a very active lifestyle, it just wasn't on a team. I've always hated organized sports, "those kinds of kids" intimidated the fuck out of me.
But anyways, I'm going to really concentrate on my novel, and hopefully get most of the final battle scene done. I'm anxious to be done with this one, and when I need motivation, I think about how I'd rather be a full-time writer than having a real job. I mean, I've made tremendous progress in getting a career going, but when it comes down to brass tacks (hehe, that's the first time I've ever used that expression!) I'd rather be writing.
So let's all remember to just breathe today, ok? Everything is going to be fine.
K
April 03, 2014
One at a Time
For those of you that know me, you know that in the past I usually had several projects going on at the same time. I was always overloading myself, and as a result, I never could finish anything.
I understand that I overloaded myself with projects to try to compensate for not having a career going. Now that I have a career started and I'm doing well, I'm not as haunted by the desperation to produce. However, I still have projects and ambitions bouncing around in my brain, and I probably always will.
Last night my creating bug was pestering me to work on my clothing line again. I got on eBay, and looked up dress mannequins. I still have a lot of fabric and my two sewing machines......
STOP. You need to finish your book first, my voice of Reason spoke up and put the brakes to the thought process. Once you finish your book, polish it up and send it off to your first publisher, you can dive right back into your sewing dreams. Book first, Reason told me.
So that's where I'm at. In the book, I'm on the final battle scene. I had to totally rework it, and shape it up to be the first in a trilogy. If I can pull this off, it will be a miracle. But this manuscript deserves a second chance and it's my baby.
I have my first writing group meeting tonight. I am long overdue to make writing connections, and I also need adult friends, LOL. I first attempted to join them a couple of months ago, but I decided I was more into hibernating for the rest of winter. Well, we are all over the damn snow, so I am emerging once again into the world.
Alright, off to the literary trenches.
K
I understand that I overloaded myself with projects to try to compensate for not having a career going. Now that I have a career started and I'm doing well, I'm not as haunted by the desperation to produce. However, I still have projects and ambitions bouncing around in my brain, and I probably always will.
Last night my creating bug was pestering me to work on my clothing line again. I got on eBay, and looked up dress mannequins. I still have a lot of fabric and my two sewing machines......
STOP. You need to finish your book first, my voice of Reason spoke up and put the brakes to the thought process. Once you finish your book, polish it up and send it off to your first publisher, you can dive right back into your sewing dreams. Book first, Reason told me.
So that's where I'm at. In the book, I'm on the final battle scene. I had to totally rework it, and shape it up to be the first in a trilogy. If I can pull this off, it will be a miracle. But this manuscript deserves a second chance and it's my baby.
I have my first writing group meeting tonight. I am long overdue to make writing connections, and I also need adult friends, LOL. I first attempted to join them a couple of months ago, but I decided I was more into hibernating for the rest of winter. Well, we are all over the damn snow, so I am emerging once again into the world.
Alright, off to the literary trenches.
K
March 16, 2014
The Yogurt Bar, Camillus NY
I stopped by The Yogurt Bar in Camillus, NY after work on Friday. It's my Friday treat to myself, and they always have new, delicious flavors.
This week they had their S.U. flavors going on, I loved their setup!
You can visit their Facebook page here: The Yogurt Bar
I'm all about supporting Local! Especially local yumminess!
Feelin' my Pharrell
Happy Weekend!
I had a fantastic week- on Wednesday I received notice that I had gotten the promotion, new position starts Monday. It was the boost of confidence that I seriously needed, and it has renewed my resolve to rise in the company. The next position is when the big bucks start flowing, that's my next target. Now I'm one step closer.
Everyone is happy for me, except for the girl I was up against. She is no longer "chummy" with me, and tries to catch any mistakes I make.
Last night, A took me out to a delicious steak dinner at Scotch & Sirloin to celebrate. The food was so good, and the alcohol was flowing- my ass passed out about as soon as we had settled back on the couch.
Life is good. Don't worry, I don't take it for granted, and I say my prayers for it to continue. I am extremely grateful for everything I've been blessed with the last year and a half.
On to work on the book!
K
I had a fantastic week- on Wednesday I received notice that I had gotten the promotion, new position starts Monday. It was the boost of confidence that I seriously needed, and it has renewed my resolve to rise in the company. The next position is when the big bucks start flowing, that's my next target. Now I'm one step closer.
Everyone is happy for me, except for the girl I was up against. She is no longer "chummy" with me, and tries to catch any mistakes I make.
Last night, A took me out to a delicious steak dinner at Scotch & Sirloin to celebrate. The food was so good, and the alcohol was flowing- my ass passed out about as soon as we had settled back on the couch.
Life is good. Don't worry, I don't take it for granted, and I say my prayers for it to continue. I am extremely grateful for everything I've been blessed with the last year and a half.
On to work on the book!
K
March 06, 2014
Orange Peels
Good morning. I turn to this blog today in hopes of getting into the writing groove. I have not been working on the novel so much in the last week, I got a lot of hours at work this week, and I have actually been sticking to a workout regime so I'm whooped by like five p.m and don't give a shit 'bout nothing but chillin' the rest of the night. While I have gotten a good deal better at the "just do it" mentality, apparently working, working out, and writing are still too much for my self to juggle. Also, L.K. Hamilton hasn't updated her blog in forever, so I'm lacking on motivation. There are only so many archives to read through, you know?
I am so loving that I have today off. I'm all about giving myself a mani/pedi, taking an absurdly long shower, and probably a 3 hour "nap". I might leave the house, I might not. On second thought, I know that I will leave the house b/c I have eBay packages (and one from a good friend :D) waiting for pickup at the post office!!! Yaya!!! I scored a pair of knee high boots, dress pants, two shirts, and a cardigan for $50. Tell me that's not a hot deal.
But I need to get major writing done today. I am researching mortuary science and the preparation of dead bodies for a scene, and it's pretty gross stuff. That scene is a large contributor to the fact that I haven't been writing well- when I have editing to do, I buzz right through it, but writing fresh stuff as opposed to fixing, takes a lot more energy. Someday I hope to be able to finish scenes in the same day.
I finally have my promotion interview tomorrow. Coming down to the wire, there appears to be two other contenders, as opposed to the original four. One of them I think is deserving, but the other- if she gets it, I'm going to question my own abilities. At least I have new eBay clothes to wear for it! :D
K
I am so loving that I have today off. I'm all about giving myself a mani/pedi, taking an absurdly long shower, and probably a 3 hour "nap". I might leave the house, I might not. On second thought, I know that I will leave the house b/c I have eBay packages (and one from a good friend :D) waiting for pickup at the post office!!! Yaya!!! I scored a pair of knee high boots, dress pants, two shirts, and a cardigan for $50. Tell me that's not a hot deal.
But I need to get major writing done today. I am researching mortuary science and the preparation of dead bodies for a scene, and it's pretty gross stuff. That scene is a large contributor to the fact that I haven't been writing well- when I have editing to do, I buzz right through it, but writing fresh stuff as opposed to fixing, takes a lot more energy. Someday I hope to be able to finish scenes in the same day.
I finally have my promotion interview tomorrow. Coming down to the wire, there appears to be two other contenders, as opposed to the original four. One of them I think is deserving, but the other- if she gets it, I'm going to question my own abilities. At least I have new eBay clothes to wear for it! :D
K
February 14, 2014
Resurrecting The Dead
I'm sitting in bed, using my laptop, with the fan noise to keep my company, and a snoring A downstairs.
Yesterday, I was working on my 65th page of my manuscript, when I accidentally hit some buttons, and poof! I was staring at a blank document. I tried Edit-Undo, nothing. Searched around some more, nothing. Then I had the brilliant idea that hey, maybe it's floating out there somewhere, and if I save it, then at least it's saved somewhere out in cyber space. No, I just saved a blank document over the file, rendering it a blank document. Bye Bye 65 pages. No, I didn't have it saved in multiple locations, like smart people do.
Earlier today, while at work, I was quite bummed about it. But then, reflecting on it, maybe it was supposed to happen. After all, it featured a past lifestyle- perhaps it wasn't supposed to be glorified in a novel. To be honest, it was a bit of a relief. I had the plot all planned out and was just really plodding through it (no pun intended) trying to reach the end.
So, when I got home today, I took a long hot shower, and thought about the several novel ideas I have, and I also thought about my "completed" manuscript that I had fixed up into a somewhat presentable bundle and sent off to a publisher in Florida. This was 2009, before I left my ex-husband.
I had never been satisfied with the manuscript, and I will admit that I sent it off well before it was really ready to get into an editor's hands- early writer mistakes on impatience. Impatient for an agented, published work and the royalty checks. I'm still impatient, but I'm much more schooled on the writing process, especially how long it takes to get to The End and the Land of Royalty Checks.
I found my old zip drive, which has my manuscript on it. I'm slowly converting it and waking up the cast of characters that I was so enamored with once upon a time.
Hey, it's still a bad ass manuscript.
K
Yesterday, I was working on my 65th page of my manuscript, when I accidentally hit some buttons, and poof! I was staring at a blank document. I tried Edit-Undo, nothing. Searched around some more, nothing. Then I had the brilliant idea that hey, maybe it's floating out there somewhere, and if I save it, then at least it's saved somewhere out in cyber space. No, I just saved a blank document over the file, rendering it a blank document. Bye Bye 65 pages. No, I didn't have it saved in multiple locations, like smart people do.
Earlier today, while at work, I was quite bummed about it. But then, reflecting on it, maybe it was supposed to happen. After all, it featured a past lifestyle- perhaps it wasn't supposed to be glorified in a novel. To be honest, it was a bit of a relief. I had the plot all planned out and was just really plodding through it (no pun intended) trying to reach the end.
So, when I got home today, I took a long hot shower, and thought about the several novel ideas I have, and I also thought about my "completed" manuscript that I had fixed up into a somewhat presentable bundle and sent off to a publisher in Florida. This was 2009, before I left my ex-husband.
I had never been satisfied with the manuscript, and I will admit that I sent it off well before it was really ready to get into an editor's hands- early writer mistakes on impatience. Impatient for an agented, published work and the royalty checks. I'm still impatient, but I'm much more schooled on the writing process, especially how long it takes to get to The End and the Land of Royalty Checks.
I found my old zip drive, which has my manuscript on it. I'm slowly converting it and waking up the cast of characters that I was so enamored with once upon a time.
Hey, it's still a bad ass manuscript.
K
February 05, 2014
Pilgrimage of Hermitage
I am attempting to get some writing done this morning. I've decided to do a blog entry in attempt to get rid of some of the ADD I'm feeling. I am sitting on my couch, with the laptop sitting on a pillow, on my lap, and the blanket over my head. I'm listening to pop latino music currently, but I might switch back to classical.
This manuscript is getting tedious. I have it all planned out, I know how it ends, its just a matter of finishing the scenes. Ah, that key component! But what else am I going to do with my day off, when there's accumulating inches of precipitation outside? The roads are shit, and there's a good chance I won't leave my house today. Except to shovel- I need to get some exercise in. If the weather wasn't shit, I would probably pack up the laptop and take it to the library to write.
As I sit here, I realize how much more of a homebody I've become. I don't even make an effort to hang out with people anymore. A lot of the reason is that the majority of my social circle is people from the club, and while I'm not trying to shit on them, I also am no longer interested in hanging out with them. I made the choice to leave that circle, and move on with my life. Some of the reason is that I'm no longer in an anxiety-ridden relationship, where I needed other people to help me feel validated. A and I don't like the majority of people, and we're content with each other's company.
With the writing, I remind myself that this is what I've wanted for so long- to have a normal job, and on my days off, spend it all day writing on my laptop. The last time I was close to this was when I was still married, and could spend all day writing and then all night dancing. But back then the relationship was shit, and I wasn't as wholesomely happy as I am now.
Reading this entry over, I used the word 'shit' quite a bit. My apologies, but the shit fit ;)
K
This manuscript is getting tedious. I have it all planned out, I know how it ends, its just a matter of finishing the scenes. Ah, that key component! But what else am I going to do with my day off, when there's accumulating inches of precipitation outside? The roads are shit, and there's a good chance I won't leave my house today. Except to shovel- I need to get some exercise in. If the weather wasn't shit, I would probably pack up the laptop and take it to the library to write.
As I sit here, I realize how much more of a homebody I've become. I don't even make an effort to hang out with people anymore. A lot of the reason is that the majority of my social circle is people from the club, and while I'm not trying to shit on them, I also am no longer interested in hanging out with them. I made the choice to leave that circle, and move on with my life. Some of the reason is that I'm no longer in an anxiety-ridden relationship, where I needed other people to help me feel validated. A and I don't like the majority of people, and we're content with each other's company.
With the writing, I remind myself that this is what I've wanted for so long- to have a normal job, and on my days off, spend it all day writing on my laptop. The last time I was close to this was when I was still married, and could spend all day writing and then all night dancing. But back then the relationship was shit, and I wasn't as wholesomely happy as I am now.
Reading this entry over, I used the word 'shit' quite a bit. My apologies, but the shit fit ;)
K
February 01, 2014
Action-Packed Weekend
I wore my S.U. hoodie to work yesterday, and helped four customers find S.U. gear and complete orange and blue outfits. It's going to be an exciting game, folks. But I have a confession: this is only my second season of being an S.U. fan. I admit, I was never into it before I started dating A. But now I know the players, and watch 95% of the games and I finally get it: ORANGE PRIDE. A took me to my first basketball game two months ago; I had only ever been to the Dome (that I remember) once before, to a football game with the ex-wife the year before. As it happened, my sister and bro-in-law were also there so they came up and sat with us.
Then Sunday brings the Superbowl, and can I just say that I am delighted that neither the Colts nor the Patriots are in it? Sorry if one of those is your team, I'm tired of seeing them there. I want to see like a Bears and Vikings match-up. I know, funny.
Haven't had my interview yet, waiting and spinning it through my head in the meantime. Been on the register more, which I don't mind. I know cashiering is a minimum wage job, and it's so many people's first jobs before they move onto greener pastures, but I enjoy it. I like the little snippets of conversation you make with each customer, the little laughs that are generated. It's definitely more enjoyable at this place than the last, a higher caliber of customer helps. Sorry, but it's true. However, it's also due to a newer computer system and better cashiering process.
I'm kind of a stickler when it comes to cashiering. I am very turned off when I go through a cashier's line, and he/she continues their conversation with the other cashier, and is barely paying attention to what he/she is doing. I give each customer individual attention, because that's what I would like when I'm the customer.
I'm having a writing marathon morning while A is at work, then I guess we're going to go shopping at Wegmans. WEGMANS, ON S.U./SUPERBOWL WEEKEND. He is out of his mind. By the way, I love how Wegmans advertises for sushi this weekend. Maybe I'm old fashioned and sexist and on the verge of making a LGBT faux pas, but what fucking dude is going to eat sushi while he watches the Superbowl? Is this something women do? Am I just out of a loop on this? I mean, I wouldn't mind sushi, but it just doesn't seem like an effective ad campaign.
Have a fabulous and chicken-wing eating weekend, America. And remember to wash your hands before you handle your junk- you don't want that killer hot sauce down there ;)
K
Then Sunday brings the Superbowl, and can I just say that I am delighted that neither the Colts nor the Patriots are in it? Sorry if one of those is your team, I'm tired of seeing them there. I want to see like a Bears and Vikings match-up. I know, funny.
Haven't had my interview yet, waiting and spinning it through my head in the meantime. Been on the register more, which I don't mind. I know cashiering is a minimum wage job, and it's so many people's first jobs before they move onto greener pastures, but I enjoy it. I like the little snippets of conversation you make with each customer, the little laughs that are generated. It's definitely more enjoyable at this place than the last, a higher caliber of customer helps. Sorry, but it's true. However, it's also due to a newer computer system and better cashiering process.
I'm kind of a stickler when it comes to cashiering. I am very turned off when I go through a cashier's line, and he/she continues their conversation with the other cashier, and is barely paying attention to what he/she is doing. I give each customer individual attention, because that's what I would like when I'm the customer.
I'm having a writing marathon morning while A is at work, then I guess we're going to go shopping at Wegmans. WEGMANS, ON S.U./SUPERBOWL WEEKEND. He is out of his mind. By the way, I love how Wegmans advertises for sushi this weekend. Maybe I'm old fashioned and sexist and on the verge of making a LGBT faux pas, but what fucking dude is going to eat sushi while he watches the Superbowl? Is this something women do? Am I just out of a loop on this? I mean, I wouldn't mind sushi, but it just doesn't seem like an effective ad campaign.
Have a fabulous and chicken-wing eating weekend, America. And remember to wash your hands before you handle your junk- you don't want that killer hot sauce down there ;)
K
January 19, 2014
Winter Mishaps
So funny story....
I had just parked my car at work yesterday and had only taken one step after shutting my door, and Whoop! My feet slipped out from under me and I landed flat on my back, in the snow between two cars. I lay there for a second, as it was so unexpected, and briefly wondered what happened.
Halfway through the night, I woke with the worst shoulder and neck pain and thought, Did I really sleep that poorly? I couldn't even sit-up (still cant!) I've never gotten whiplash from falling, it's a new experience. How's your winter going?
I have an upcoming interview, for a higher position in the store. It will be full-time w/ benefits and a bit more of a regular schedule. I am going to pursue it, but I sort of have some doubt setting in. I crave a normal, 9-5, weekends off type of job. I can't stand the back and forth scheduling, but I remind myself it's always better once I get there. So, if I get the promotion great, and if I don't, not the end of the world.
That's where writing motivation comes from. I need to keep working on it, and maybe someday if I'm lucky, I can be a full-time writer.
In the meantime, I have dishes to wash.
K
@KellyRwrites
I had just parked my car at work yesterday and had only taken one step after shutting my door, and Whoop! My feet slipped out from under me and I landed flat on my back, in the snow between two cars. I lay there for a second, as it was so unexpected, and briefly wondered what happened.
Halfway through the night, I woke with the worst shoulder and neck pain and thought, Did I really sleep that poorly? I couldn't even sit-up (still cant!) I've never gotten whiplash from falling, it's a new experience. How's your winter going?
I have an upcoming interview, for a higher position in the store. It will be full-time w/ benefits and a bit more of a regular schedule. I am going to pursue it, but I sort of have some doubt setting in. I crave a normal, 9-5, weekends off type of job. I can't stand the back and forth scheduling, but I remind myself it's always better once I get there. So, if I get the promotion great, and if I don't, not the end of the world.
That's where writing motivation comes from. I need to keep working on it, and maybe someday if I'm lucky, I can be a full-time writer.
In the meantime, I have dishes to wash.
K
@KellyRwrites
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)