Strong

I am entering a second coming, if you will. 
Of late, I've been pondering just how I've transformed over the last year and a half. I'm not sure, but I have an inkling, that all retired dancers have to go through a period of rediscovery after the world of nakedness- entering the real world and the job market. Losing the mass of admiring, drooling men creates a weird gray void that is slowly filled in or erased over time. It's not just them, it's being at the top of something that yes, is nothing to be admired, but still- going from top bitch to...bottom of the barrel.
  I've been realizing just how much my current place of employment has not helped me find myself. Instead it has further dampered my spirit and zest. It's a very cold place, that very rarely gives feedback and encouragement. The employees are just grunt workers- meant to be used and abused. I've lost track of the hard work ethic and enthusiasm I used to have, and I'm in the process of digging that up again. I know I still have it in me, I just have to shake it awake once again and remind myself that yes, I'm a great worker and deserve a better post. It's like I moved from a position that society frowned upon but which I owned, to one that is slightly abusive. I'm only recently realizing this.
I'm in the process of getting that back, finding it once again. Shaping a stronger, more resilient, slightly arrogant version of myself. I need a little arrogance right now. Bull headedness, not accepting no for an answer. Going full steam ahead, a bit reckless, but also intelligent, and calculating. 
  Returning to my current job tomorrow, there will be a little more 'fuck you' inside of me, which has been increasing as of late. I will perform my duties as expected, and I will continue to provide excellent customer service, but taking away the anxiety of hoping to please while never getting positive feedback helps me be stronger. Does that make any sense? 
 K