Reading Woes

  As those that know me know, I have always been a bibliophile- I love books, I love to smell them, caress them, turn the pages, etc. 
  I read constantly as a kid; looking back at it, perhaps diving into a story was the way I handled my anxiety. I had a couple of friends who lived down the street from me in Syracuse, and they would walk over to play. I would beg them to come back in 15, 20 minutes, so I could finish the gripping part of the story I was in. 
  In grammar school, when we would all line up to go to art class, gym class, or the cafeteria, I would read while walking along in line. The teachers loved it, and yes, I did it partly to show off. But I was quite good at it- I never (well, rarely) bumped into the kid ahead of me and always handled the corners like an expert. 
  My 6th grade teacher-bless her fucking soul- would get us lined up to the tune of Carmen. She would clap her hands to the rhythm, and we would line up, and started clapping along with her.  She was always quite amused by the adult titles I would pick, stuff that you'd never see an 11-year old reading. I did trudge through some boring ass shit, just for the attention it would garner. To this day, I still don't understand the big hubbah over Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I need to re-read it, I definitely read that one too young.And I distinctly remember her tittering over Waiting for Godot. She knew I didn't know what the hell I was reading, but she was tickled pink by my effort.
 As an adult, I find it extremely difficult to get into books the way I would as a kid. I had no problem reading for hours, but it's very hard for me to just sit and read. I get a guilty complex- why am I just sitting here, "doing nothing"? Why aren't the dishes done? Why am I not working on my novel? 
  While I was dancing, I found that reading a book I was super interested in, was a good way to drum up some business on slow days. 'Cuz mother fuckers always wanted to come in and start talking to me when I was in the middle of a great paranormal vampire sex scene (a.k.a. anything written by J.D. Ward). I always had to take a deep, calming breath while putting the book down, I would be so annoyed. Despite needing the money, and oh yeah- being at work.
  I hate that I can't get into reading the same way, but I am determined to at least make some headway. I'm breaking down my own barriers about what's "acceptable" to read, and what's not. Woman, read what the hell peaks your interests, even it's "below your standards". Yes, I'm a book snob.
  There will be a similar post soon, about the digitizing of libraries and my horror over that. Don't even get me started. 
  But for now, I have a lesbian jealousy fight to get through in my novel. Oh, there will also be a prostitute and hot makeup sex (not with the prostitute).
 K